Jay Mariotti started his article about USC freshman QB Matt Barkley with the title "Is Cool Barkley Next Great College QB?". He continued it by gushing with praise for Barkley, and ended it with a disturbingly cheesy line that sounds like a one-liner from a horrible soap opera or something. Mariotti has been known to go off the deep end from time to time, but this one is just creepy.
These are all quotes from Mariotti, about the USC QB, who turns 19 today:
"The afternoon sun was orgasmic, framing the Memorial Coliseum in a California daydream as the USC band played its triumphant post-game march. Yet nothing was more radiant than Matt Barkley's smile."
"You figure Carroll, who understands completely that the USC quarterbacking position comes with some sex appeal, sees the kid fitting right in with his blond hair and good looks."
"He's breezy and laid back, not old enough to grow more than peach-fuzz stubble on his face."
And the conclusion of the article?
"You'll never guess what he wore.
A smile."
Excuse me, I think I have to go throw up now. Thanks, Mariotti.
A tip of the hat to Deadspin for the heads up




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