Who's Behind My Success

by Ryan

Natalie - let's face it.  If I were truly successful, you wouldn't be meeting me through an essay contest.  If I were, say, some d*##*@ named Ben Roethlisberger, you'd already have my number.  But, alas, I'm not so successful.  Therefore, it's imperative that I win this essay contest.  I need some success and you're just the hot, hot, hot, hot, hot athlete to provide it for me. 

That and it's pretty damned important that I win since this will likely lead to my divorce.  At least I'm not successful, so I won't lose too much in the settlement.