All right everyone. Because NBC was actually able to force China to have certain events at times that would allow them to be live here in the States (meaning a TV station has more power than our government), we're going to have an Olympic live thread. From what I understand, Michael Phelps' 400 IM swim tonight will be shown live for viewers in the central and eastern time zones. Those of us out here on the west coast, or in the crazy mountain time zone, I guess avoid the comments section of this post then.

We'll also get President Bush's favorite beach volleyball duo - Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh - defending their Olympic gold effort from 2004.

So here's what's on tap this evening in primetime. As I said, some of this will be live, some of won't be. But either way, we can still make fun of how much the Chinese are doping.

Primetime: 8 p.m. to 12 a.m.

Coverage includes four gold-medal swimming finals (LIVE ET/CT). In the men's 400m IM, American Michael Phelps begins his quest for a record-breaking gold medal haul while 41-year-old mom Dara Torres leads Team USA in the women’s 4x100m free relay. The women's 400m IM and men's 400m free are also contested. Plus, men's gymnastics qualification and U.S. women's beach volleyball coverage, where defending Olympic champs Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh face a Japanese tandem (LIVE ET/CT).

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Insomniac Coverage - For Those Of You Who Want To Stay Up Super Late (again, these times correspond to whatever time zone you're in)

12:00 a.m. to 2:00 a.m. - On CNBC, coverage of boxing elimination-round bouts (64kg light welterweight and 69kg welterweight). Also, men's singles tennis between American first-time Olympian James Blake and Chris Guccione of Australia (LIVE ET/CT).

2:00 a.m. to 4:30 a.m. - On CNBC, coverage of men's singles tennis between American first-time Olympian James Blake and Chris Guccione of Australia. Also, boxing elimination-round bouts in the 64kg light welterweight and 69kg welterweight classes (LIVEET/CT).

4:30 a.m. to 7 a.m. - On CNBC, boxing elimination-round bouts: Light welterweight (64kg) and welterweight (69kg).

2:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m. - On USA Network, men's basketball action features Spain vs. Greece (LIVE ET/CT) and Lithuania vs. Argentina (LIVE ET/CT). Coverage also includes a U.S. women's doubles badminton match against Singapore, and the equestrian team eventing dressage competition.

I don't know about everyone, but doubles badminton kicks major butt. Stay up for that.