2009 Festivus Sports Airing Of Grievances
General Sports

We Have A Lot Of Problems With Sports Figures, And You're Going To Hear About Them

12/23/09 in General Sports   |   Jubanator14   |   367 respect

Christmas isn't the only holiday this week as today is Festivus. What is Festivus you say, well it is a holiday invented by Frank Constanza on Seinfeld.

The first tradition of Festivus is the Airing of Grievances and that got me thinking, who are the sports figures or teams that really made me upset or angry this year. So with that said, lets get to the list of some of my Sports Grievances.

Brett Favre - Enough with the coming back and retiring thing, make a descision and stick with it.

Brad Childress - Way to screw your team by caving everything to Favre and forgetting you have Adrian Peterson in the backfield.

Shaq - So it turns out you were actually the jerk in the Shaq/Kobe feud since you now have left two other teams on bad terms (Suns and Heat).

Coleby Clawson - The BYU Linebacker ruined my College Football season with his hit on Sam Bradford.

The Oklahoma Offensive Line - Come to think of it, you ruined my College Football season by letting Bradford get hurt twice and produced no running lanes for the RB's.

DirecTV and Versus - Why don't you guys get your acts together so we can get Versus back on DirecTV.

Heisman Voters - Toby Gerhart and Ndamukong Suh were more deserving. Have some guts.

David Stern - Twittering directly before or after games isn't that big of a deal.

Bud Selig - Pretty much everything.

The AP - A Nascar driver is not an athlete. Nascar is a sport but just because it is a sports does not make its participants athletes.

Refs/Umpires - Several blown and shady calls this year.

These are just a few of the many sports grievances of the past year but now I want to hear yours. Share your years worth of sports grievances below in the comments.
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12/24/09   |   joshwillis52   |   114 respect

(Edited by joshwillis52)

College football for not having a playoff system when it clearly would make them and the schools more money and still not lose the bowl games.

Brad Childress for possibly ruining the Vikings season by having to control every little thing that goes on with the offense. Everyone trashes Tarvaris Jackson for not doing anything the last two years as the starter, but then again how can he when he's a young quarterback and the head coach doesn't let him call his own plays and learn from his mistakes. Also for not running the ball more when we are clearly a running team and have the best two running back tandem in the league in AP and Chester Taylor. They should both split the carries and run the ball at least 25-30 times a game and then surprise through the air if they're stacking the box with eight or nine defenders every play.

12/24/09   |   kteacher   |   34390 respect

John Buccigross----I always loved you, and when you picked the Kings to make the playoffs this summer, I loved you even more. BUT then, I read your ESPN predictions and what do I find, YOU have the Kings missing the playoffs---WTF Man? That's cold...really cold.

Time Warner Cable--NOT only do you not carry the NFL network, but you may not carry Fox after the new year either? DARN YOU TIME WARNER CABLE!

12/24/09   |   MarkTheShark   |   590 respect

wrote:
BCS- Hands down the worst ranking system in any sports, anywhere. Pull your heads out of your bupkas, and listen to the fans, the coaches, and anyone else on the planet, and figure out a playoff system

ESPN & NFL Network- I had to watch the Bucs and the Seahawks last Sunday, because I refuse to pay for another 64 channels to get the NFL Network, on top of the 124 I already don't watch.

The CBS Sports guy ( name is escaping me right now) that made watching Tim Tebow very unpleasant this year, because of his bromance. Get back in the closet dude.

ANY person that does not believe Nascar drivers are athletes. Let me see you deal with the G forces, 200+mph, with 42 other cars coming at you dealing with the same. Not to mention the countless hours in the gym.

Damn I miss George Costanza!

Phenomenal Thread..and Happy Festivus!

Quickly I will appeal to those pilots out there: if flying a plane is athletic than so is driving a stock car for 500 miles in 120 degree temps

12/24/09   |   ML31   |   3675 respect

Direct TV & Their VS problem.

It is causing me to drop their service in a few months.

12/24/09   |   kobe_lova   |   61980 respect

WhoDat12 wrote:
Here;s my grievances:

The B**S - The same playoff that "doesn't work" in college football works in Division 1-AA, Division II, and Division III.

Bowl Games - There are way too many of them and you end up watching a game the Chili Bowl featuring 6-6 Long Poke State vs. 7-5 I.P. Freely University.

Roger Adolf Goodell - He should find a dark alley, get a sharp object and fornicate himself

The media that covered Tiger Woods: Like he's the first person to ever get some on the side

Bud Selig: His epic douchebaggery sickens me to no end

Matt Millen: How the Favre does a guy who destroyed a franchise get to have a job talking about football?

David Stern: His douchebaggery is fastly approaching Goodellian levels

Lack of Coaching Sound Bites: I haven't heard any classics such as "I'm a man! I'm 40" or "You play to win the game" or "The Bears are who we thought they were" lately. Kinda disappointing.

Michael Vick: All of this hoopla and fanfare over MV7, yet I've had just about as much impact on the Philadelphia Eagles offense that he has.

Coack K: He suggested to widen the March Madness field. Thats one thing that ACTUALLY works about the NCAA. Don't F it up!

Happy Festivus to all!

BTW This may very well be the Best Thread EVAR.

it is a great thread. and ditto on the Goddell, Stern, and Tiger BS!!

12/24/09   |   THE_Smoot   |   70 respect

(Edited by THE_Smoot)

ALDS umpires: For screwing up my Dodgers-Twins W/S prediction with their crappy calls (Helen Keller could see where that ball landed near the foul line).

EA Sports: For denying me 2K Sports college basketball games and sticking me with the abomination that is NCAA Basketball 09 (okay that was last year, but I wasted $60 of money that I got from other people on that crapfest).

BCS: Moving on.

Roger Goodell: I went to take a piss. I'm sorry that I don't have $100,000 to give you.

Every male athlete: I wish I could get paid $20 million to play with balls and grab other men. I'd be quite the lucrative gay rights activist.

The media: For suddenly caring about those postmortem who were portrayed as demons premortem (Michael Jackson, Chris Henry, etc.). I'd feel more bad for MJ if drugs weren't involved. Ever (okay not sports related, but like a Trekkie's junk, it had to be aired out).

FanIQ: For making IQ points irrelevant and trimming my visits to an eighth of what they were this summer.

ESPN: For giving Brett Favre a platform to make a comeback. Quit paying attention to him.

People who don't think Michael Vick should be allowed to play: It's America. His sentence is over. Don't deny him financial gain. Dogfighting and football are oil and water. They don't mix. Ever. He himself isn't detrimental. Blame the media.

Pittsburgh Penguins: For beating the Wings in Game 7. That was a downer.

Teams who pay a guy $5 million to sit on the bench: There are starving children who sit wanting to play with balls (and don't have any to play with) who perform the same functions as these players. Go play in the UFL or something.

SEC refs: For sucking.

UK Football: For a) putting in someone except for Randall Cobb as QB, b) almost going 10-2 but not wanting it enough and ending at 7-5, and c) losing to Tennessee AGAIN when you all could've won (but again, you didn't want it enough). Now to hope they can contain C.J. Spiller on Sunday.

Me: For not realizing how freaking talented Ndamukong Suh is until I watched the Big XII title game. That guy is a BEAST.

12/23/09   |   Rod28

Here is to the Festivus. Hey yo Lebron. I don't mind you dancing and all but you getting a little to cocky. Hey  new flash Lebron. Kids want to play ball like you not dance like you.

12/23/09   |   WhoDat12   |   2252 respect

Here;s my grievances:

The B**S - The same playoff that "doesn't work" in college football works in Division 1-AA, Division II, and Division III.

Bowl Games - There are way too many of them and you end up watching a game the Chili Bowl featuring 6-6 Long Poke State vs. 7-5 I.P. Freely University.

Roger Adolf Goodell - He should find a dark alley, get a sharp object and fornicate himself

The media that covered Tiger Woods: Like he's the first person to ever get some on the side

Bud Selig: His epic douchebaggery sickens me to no end

Matt Millen: How the Favre does a guy who destroyed a franchise get to have a job talking about football?

David Stern: His douchebaggery is fastly approaching Goodellian levels

Lack of Coaching Sound Bites: I haven't heard any classics such as "I'm a man! I'm 40" or "You play to win the game" or "The Bears are who we thought they were" lately. Kinda disappointing.

Michael Vick: All of this hoopla and fanfare over MV7, yet I've had just about as much impact on the Philadelphia Eagles offense that he has.

Coack K: He suggested to widen the March Madness field. Thats one thing that ACTUALLY works about the NCAA. Don't F it up!

Happy Festivus to all!

BTW This may very well be the Best Thread EVAR.

12/23/09   |   MarkTheShark   |   590 respect

(Edited by MarkTheShark)

The BCS. My hope is the non-BCS teams start their own division and name their own champion. I'll never understand why Big Ten fans can't see that their football conference is the most inferior of the BCS conglomeration.

To the two Steeler fans that I have confronted and tangled with at Raymond James Stadium: NOBODY there gives a /= u ( k that you are a bandwagon jumper. Not Bucs fans and not Packers fans. I hope you douchery was worth it.

The Glazers (owners of the Buccaneers). I have a serious mind to go down to One Buc palace and hop the fence and kidnap Mark Domink. I will then be running football operations and I can tell you the first order of business: personally inform Michael Clayton that his days of stealing your money ARE OVER! He would then be escorted off the premises by my drunk brother (that would be fun!)

My brother-in-law to be doesn't know jack about fantasy football, even though he thinks he does, but he will be family soon so I bought him a Mansierre (or was it a Bro) for Festivus. Happy Festivus.
...................(for the rest of us)

12/23/09   |   icfeet   |   21969 respect

thjacobsjr wrote:
I got a lot of problems with the "OWNERSHIP OF THE OAKLAND RAIDERS" Hey AL DAVIS I hear you can't even decide what you wanna wear in the morning, and I'm tired of not getting the respect we deserve, either create an ownership board or hire a team president, and chief operating officer. You worse than Jack Klompus with that freakin space pen.........

Oh by the way " Happy Festivus.. to all........a donation in your name has been made to the Human Fund
.

Not that there's anything WRONG with that!!!

12/23/09   |   MrNFL   |   175 respect

The BCS for making college football not a legitimate sport and for being even worse than Auto-Tune.

12/23/09   |   thjacobsjr   |   38 respect

I got a lot of problems with the "OWNERSHIP OF THE OAKLAND RAIDERS" Hey AL DAVIS I hear you can't even decide what you wanna wear in the morning, and I'm tired of not getting the respect we deserve, either create an ownership board or hire a team president, and chief operating officer. You worse than Jack Klompus with that freakin space pen.........

Oh by the way " Happy Festivus.. to all........a donation in your name has been made to the Human Fund
.

12/23/09   |   HolyRollin   |   204 respect

 The NFL Referees: For seemingly carrying a 30-year vendetta against the Oakland Raiders. 

Karma: For the same the reasons.

12/23/09   |   gobigblue1960   |   4803 respect

To the BCS..."You don't know what the hell your doing." (quote courtesy of Mr. Frank Costanza himself.) Another year, and another useless system to determine a mythical National Championship.
To the Heisman voters...do you watch any games besides those played in the last two weeks.? Obviously not.
To MLB...can we get doubleheaders back in baseball, and how about ending World Series games before 11 PM on the East Coast, and before the November snow's start to fall.
To the NFL...for those of us who don't have cable TV, can you offer the NFL Network games to local TV stations please.?
 And now, for the feats of strength...a steel cage match between Chad Ochowhatever, and T.O...Puhlease,  that's if they can get both of those two inflated ego's into the ring.

Happy Festivus...a donation in your name has been made to the Human Fund.

12/23/09   |   mk_donley   |   2554 respect

Eric Mangini-For benching BQ for the Artist Formerly Known As Derek Anderson, and for making the Browns the total joke of the NFL.

Eric Wedge- For leading the Tribe to only one-count it-ONE playoff appearance,in your seven years with the team,and for being clueless, when it comes to starting lineups

Derek Anderson- For being the master of stink as a Browns QB who can't throw an accurate dadburn pass to save his cottonpickin' life!!!

Milton Bradley- For being a clubhouse cancer, and for insulting Cubs fans

Braylon Edwards- For dropping easy passes like a fathead. I'm glad an idiot like you is no longer on the Browns.

Mark Shapiro- Thank you for trading Cliff Lee, and Victor Martinez, for a pile of nuts and bolts. For a GM you STINK, loser!

12/23/09   |   w_g_walters   |   223 respect

wrote:
You should probably try to drive a racecar (maybe you have, I don't know) before you claim that NASCAR drivers are not athletes.   Since you mentioned NASCAR only, does that mean that you think IRL and other open wheel drivers are athletes?   I personally think NASCAR drivers are more athletes than others that get called athletes, namely competitive eaters.    GLUTTONY IS NOT A SPORT AND EATERS  are NOT athletes.

The rest of your list is fine, especially the Favre and Childress lines.    My list would also include all the gliches in the fantasy games here on the Q.    Something needs to be done soon.

Happy Festivus.

Most who agree with who you responded to have probably never driven a car around a sharp corner at 120 mph. I never have, but I had the misfortune of being in that car...

12/23/09   |   tatersup45   |   106 respect

NCAA Basketball-Does the last 2 minutes of a close college basketball game HAVE to last half an hour?

2009 Female Athlete of the Year- Was Serena really a better choice than a horse?  At least the horse didn't threaten to kill a linesperson.

Bill Belichick (Belicose)-The Genuis?  Did you really go for it on 4th down against Indy from your own 28?  How many other just bad coaching and personnel decisions can you pack into one season?  Also, would it kill you to smile once in a while?  You are over-rated and this year it's being proven.

The Golden State Warriors- Happy Festivus to the most consistently maladjusted franchise in professional sports.  You guys are going to be the death of me!

 

12/23/09   |   elevenbravo138again   |   1163 respect

I have 1 big grievance to air,  FBS football somehow can't devise a playoff system. Playoffs?!

12/23/09   |   Diablorain   |   4425 respect

(Edited by Diablorain)

LeBron James-sick of the hoopblah surrounding you...when in reality you haven't amounted to much.

The Red Sox-just because i think your team SUCKS! and you will NEVER be as good as the Yankees

Jimmie Johnson-you really should not be AP Male Athlete of the year.And i am a NASCAR fan

Dale Jr Haters-Deal with it Junior will be the most Popular driver for some time to come regardless if he wins or not and he does have talent!

12/23/09   |   w_g_walters   |   223 respect

Rush Limbaugh - for trying to ruin what respect I have for the NFL owners.

12/23/09   |   Raider_Dave   |   47 respect

Jim Zorn - Are you effing serious with that fake field goal play against the Giants? Are you TRYING to get fired at halftime?



http://redskins.fandome.com/video/116987/Most-Epic-Fake-Field-Goal-FAIL-Ever-in-Redskins-Giants-MNF-Game/ 

12/23/09   |   nyrangers   |   192 respect

Gary Bettman - for trying to turn the NHL into volleyball on ice with sticks

The Mets - for being the Mets

ESPN and some of its douches - for refusing to acknowledge hockey as a sport and instead shoving uselses stories and figures down its viewers throats, such as Brett Favre, Micheal Vick, Brett Favre, NASCAR...(just kidding NASCAR fans)
 

12/23/09   |   Jubanator14   |   367 respect

100%InjuryRate wrote:
Tiger Woods - For causing every woman in the world who's married or has a boyfriend to go and check his cell phone for suspicious calls.

Thankfully, since I'm a blogger, I have no girlfriend.

I'd add to Tigers - Why not pick some good looking women to cheat on. I mean Vegas club hostess and party girls? You are a billionaire, you can do better.

12/23/09   |   hskrdave   |   10686 respect

(Edited by hskrdave)

 You forgot Dan Snyder.  

Of Course Dan has no problem hiring anyone.  He just has a problem letting them do their job.

And the Carolina Hurricanes.  I have never seen so much talent go to waste.  it's kind of hard to complain because they play their best 85% of the time, they just haven't been able to close the deal.  Thus worst in the league.  It's like the entire team was on the cover of Madden 2010 or Sports Illustrated.

12/23/09   |   Boski93   |   375 respect

I would like to ask my long time foe, TimeWarner Cable to please finally pull it's bleeping head out of it bleeping bleep bleep and work out a bleeping deal with the NFL Network. Till that deal is reached may reindeer and Santa relieve themselves in your egg nog. 

12/23/09   |   BluDevil   |   618 respect

Manny Pacquiao - For saying that a fight against Mayweather in May wouldn't work and then getting Mayweather to agree to fight in March and then coming out and saying March was too soon. Make up your mind!

Manny Pacquiao - For first having his trainer Freddy Roach say that he'd have no problem with an olympic style drug test and that he could pass any test in the world and now saying that he's afraid of needles and that if he gives blood too close to the fight that he'll be too weak to win. Make up your mind!!! You're either good with the test, like you said two weeks ago, or you aren't!!

12/23/09   |   100%InjuryRate   |   1283 respect

Tiger Woods - For causing every woman in the world who's married or has a boyfriend to go and check his cell phone for suspicious calls.

Thankfully, since I'm a blogger, I have no girlfriend.

12/23/09   |   Raider_Dave   |   47 respect

Al Davis & Jerry Jones: Hire a damn GM so your teams actually have a chance at success sometime this millennium.