Sure, it's easy to sit down in January and predict which driver will win the Daytona 500 and which team will win the gold medal in team handball.  I decided to take that a step further.

8.  Jim Tressel will hang up on Marv Levy.  I envision the former Buffalo Bills coach picking up the phone right about now to console Jim Tressel after Ohio State laid another egg in the BCS Championship Game.  After all, who knows better about laying eggs than Levy?  Here's how I envision the short conversation to go:

ML:  Jim, this is Marv Levy.  I just wanted to call and congratulate you on another great season.

JT:  Yeah, this one was tough, but we'll bounce back.

ML:  Yeah, I know how you feel.  You just have to keep the guys going.  It was tough for us to go through that four times, but it made us better people.

JT:  Marv, you know I won a National Championship in 2002, right?  I've gotta go. 

Click.

7.  28,769.  This is the number of times Michael Vick will be called "Dawg" in the next year at the U.S. Bureau of Prisons minimum security facility in Leavenworth, Kansas.   Poor, poor Michael Vick.  What do you think he does first when he gets out - smokes a blunt or gets a new pet? 

6.   The Tampa Bay Devil Rays and Florida Marlins will lose on purpose in hopes of being consolidated.  By dumping talent and bringing up "fresh" pitchers, the Marlins & Devil Rays could probably manage 230 losses between them.  This will play right into their master plan to combine the two teams to rule the International League for years to come.

5.  LeBron James will actually chew his own gum and become disgusted after 2 minutes.  The Cleveland superstar will spend the off-season traveling the hills of China to find the perfect flavors to represent his game.  (and playing some basketball, too)  His "You Need Me More Than I Need You" flavor will be introduced to Cleveland at the start of the 2008-2009 season.

4.  The Pittsburgh Penguins will look to hire Marty McSorley after Sid "the Kid" takes a beating from the Philadelphia Flyers.  McSorley will consider the offer to come out of retirement, but will turn the Pens down for a role in Forget Paris 2:  Please, Forget Paris.

3.  President Bush Causes The Patriots To Lose.  In order to sponge some of the popularity of the undefeated Super Bowl XLII champs, President Bush will slip Patriots coach Bill Belichick an offensive play to use in the season-opener of 2008.  Belichick will accidentally put the play into the playbook and will be called on the final play of the opening game.  Like many of Bush's strategic moves, the play will have disastrous consequences.

2.  No athletes will seek political asylum during the 2008 Beijing Olympics.  Many athletes will travel to China with the hopes of improving their lives, but will oddly become satisfied with their lives upon return to their home countries. 

1.  Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds will become BFF.  Just like the Grinch, Bonds' heart, which is two-sizes too small, will grow with empathy after seeing the media extravaganza surrounding Roger Clemens.  The exiled slugger will reach out to the pitcher and the two will become "workout" partners in 2008.  Which one do you think loses the most weight now that they're done playing?