On the Mark

On the Mark: Surprise! Rays are for real
Tiger's hurt. The NFL is months away. Even Euro 2008 is over. Worry not. Mark Kriegel has found the feel-good story of the summer

Just because you're American and male doesn't mean this has to be a terrible time of year. I want you to know you're not alone. I'm here to help.

First and foremost, keep an open mind. Don't be one of these guys who writes off the whole soccer thing. OK, it's a little boring. But the beautiful game also represents an unforeseen opportunity. Bet the over, always. A soccer team that scores twice is a lock.

It's kind of like the Dodgers.

Speaking of which, a friend of mine wants to know how Andruw Jones sleeps at night.

On a full stomach, I'm sure.

As for Wimbledon, so what if Ana Ivanovic and Maria Sharapova are gone? Again, let's concentrate on the positives. It's much more productive to celebrate upset victories by the likes of Tamarine Tanasugarn and Agnieszka Radwanska.

Come to think of it, how did I ever forget to TiVo that?

Guess I'm still coming off the weekend baseball high. Can you blame me, though? I mean, nothing says interleague play quite like Mariners-Padres.

By the way, this season's interleague experience has taught us all a valuable lesson, namely, that C.C. Sabathia has more pop than anyone on Joe Torre's 25-man roster.

Notice how the Olympic torch controversy died down just as soon as it reached Chinese soil.

So let's hear it for the state-sponsored media.

You want more happy news? Chris Evert and Greg Norman tied the knot in a private ceremony in the Bahamas.

The groom now has as many marriages as majors.

Still, the bride won more grand slams on grass.

This being an Olympic year, you must not complain about having to pay attention to sports you never pay attention to, like track and weightlifting and swimming.

For instance, Tyson Gay?

Actually, I was one of the few who never thought he was.

And the Bulgarian weightlifters who tested positive?

Three of them are women. Or, used to be.

They'd make some swimsuit calendar, no? Hey, what's a little facial hair?

You'd be surprised, though, a lot of guys want to be with someone who can do the clean and jerk.

You know who you are.

Don't think for a second that the mainstream sports haven't fallen off, either. The NBA draft, for instance, started sucking when the student-athletes started dressing like student-athletes.

I remember the good old days when the wardrobe came courtesy of the same guys who did that old HBO doc, "Pimps Up, Ho's Down."

Speaking of which, Kevin Love should've dressed up like White Folks.

In the wake of the Celtics championship, there are those who think that Bill Russell — a recluse for more than four decades — suddenly has become overexposed.

Typical Boston haters. I'm just hoping he finds the time to host "The View."

New York Giants season-ticket holders are being forced to pay a "personal seat license" fee of up to $20,000.

If the Sopranos did something like that, it would be called extortion.

Good thing it was only the Maras and the Tisches.

n parting, I again implore you to take advantage of this time. It's a great chance to study up on the Big Issues in Sports. Just for starters, you have the great LZR swimsuit controversy and the maple bat controversy.

Next, you can take a deep breath and figure out how you really feel about Chad Johnson.

Or maybe you want to catch up on your reading. Me, I'm finally getting around to that piece in Dime magazine entitled "Stephon Marbury: His Side of the Story." ("Our relationship is great," Starbury says of Isiah Thomas. "I can talk to him about anything.")

Anyway, getting back to the dog days (apologies to Uga VI), the important thing is realizing that you have the power to change. Yes you do. Don't get down on yourself.

Hey, look at Spain.

Spain was like the Greg Norman of Europe.