According to The Onion, Michael Phelps is an aquatic mammal and a "SeaWorld main attraction."
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/michael_phelps_returns_to_his_tank
Oh, Onion! Your thinly-veiled attempts at concealing contemptuous lies as being actual news headlines are very convincing to those who have only 20/100 vision left in one eye and are slightly mentally retarded.
And to the rest of us, they're just plain funny.
I knew Phelps looked oddly familiar every time I saw him on tv... I'm pretty sure I fed him raw mackerel and got to ride on his back on my 13th birthday.




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