The following article, despite being based loosely on non-fiction and bearing a polar resemblance to fact, is truer than you will ever know. Quotes made in this article are conjured out of pure inspiration, while the opinions expressed here are derived from what is both authentic and just.
Following their' surprise victory opening day over the Texas Rangers, the Houston Astros' had a sneaking suspicion that they had enjoyed their final win of the season. However, after nearly going 27 up and 27 down Tuesday night against Yu Darvish, the a panicked Houston lineup began to believe they may have had their last hit of the season.
With one out to go in the 9th inning, 14 Houston hitters had struck out, meaning just 12 had managed contact. According to former pitcher and current Astros slugger Rick Ankiel, the nightmare seemed to be coming true-- and quickly.
"After opening day, which now seems like a lifetime ago, we were all champage-soaked, soaking in the victory, completely aware that it may be the last of the season. We knew it would never be so good again, but we didn't anticipate it would ever be this bad."
Yu Darvish may have been throwing a masterful game, but all the Astros could see was their own shortcomings, epitomised in the zeros on the scoreboard.
"I knew right away that I took all those hits on Sunday night for granted. But now, being 1/81th into the season, the fatigue starts to set in, the pitches come at you faster and curvier, and all of a sudden you start wondering if you're even going to make contact ever again," confessed the Astros' cleanup hitter, whose name I have forgotten.
When shortstop Marwin Gonzalez got the first hit of the night by grounding a single up the middle, the Houston bench erupted, not just becaue they had broken up the perfect game, but because they had quickly learned that they would need to fully appreciate every single hit of the season, for it may very well be their last.