You're in trouble -- D.J. Williams busted using synthetic pee for a drug test
Per the allegations, Williams has twice submitted urine that was not from a human being, and on a third occasion allegedly tried to dupe investigators with the old "urine bottle switcheroo" trick.
Williams' past is more checkered than a Pizza Hut tablecloth. He is currently suspended for the first six games of the 2012 NFL season over a previous failed drug test. He's had two DUIs in his eight-year NFL career. Williams was also involved in a cash and gifts scandal when he played college ball for the Miami Hurricanes.
But the latest bit of drug test chicanery is surely the most entertaining of Williams' alleged misdeeds. According to John Ingold's report in the Denver Post, Williams is accused of manipulating his drug tests on three occasions. On the third occasion, Williams cleverly kicked the urine bottle into a part of the Broncos' training facility that was off limits to the NFL representatives, then had a trainer return with a different bottle. On the first two occasions, Williams allegedly submitted synthetic human urine.
Yes, you can buy synthetic human urine on the internet. But try explaining that credit card charge to your wife.
This all matters because Williams is attempting to appeal his drug-related suspension, and the matter is currently in the U.S. 10th Circuit Court of Appeals. And you thought the Barry Bonds trial was a waste of tax dollars!
For his part, Williams and his attorneys are attempting to blame the NFL for mishandling the samples. They claim that the NFL has given inaccurate information on the shipment of the urine samples -- the exact same strategy that worked for Ryan Braun in February.