Not only did Calvin Johnson earn the dubious honor of appearing on the latest Madden NFL cover... but it also happens to be game's '13 Edition.
This week EA Sports released the official cover for Madden 13 featuring Megatron himself. Johnson narrowly edged out QB Cam Newton in fan voting last month... and, in the process, vaulted Newton into odds-on favorite status for 2012 NFL MVP.
This is the second year EA Sports has allowed the masses to decide which
Let's face it, if you're reading this blog it means you're already well-versed in the ways of the Madden Curse. From Eddie George to Vince Young to last year's cover boy Peyton Hillis, this franchise has sunk more careers than appearing on MTV's The Hills.
In fact, the only person whose life hasn't gone completely down the toilet after appearing on the cover -- unless you consider having an unhealthy man-crush on Brett Favre to be a curse -- is John Madden himself, who has earned hundreds of millions off the game.
So I'm not here to debate whether or not this year's Madden Curse is real. I'm here to provide iron-clad proof.
Much like the cover of the Beatles' classic Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band -- which provides indisputable evidence that Paul McCartney is, in fact, dead -- this year's Madden cover provides plenty of clues that foreshadow Johnson's career demise.
Let's take a look, shall we:
1) Has there ever been a player on the cover of Madden with a bigger "Oh S**t!" expression on his face than Johnson? The once self-assured Megatron is now oddly reminiscent of the kid picked last in 5th grade gym class who's thinking, "Please dear God, do not let me drop this pass."
2) Look closely at the angle of the reflection in Johnson's helmet visor. Is it just me, or does the perspective seem like he's positioned significantly closer to the stadium rafters than he is to the playing surface? Much like the Bulls' Derrick Rose is currently sitting in a suite significantly closer to the United Center's rafters -- with a torn ACL.
3) Okay, I totally understand that Detroit is by no means a bustling metropolis. But assuming this cover depicts game day, wouldn't you expect at least one car or pedestrian to be outside of Ford Field? Only two factors could account for such a complete absence of human activity. Either a freshly detonated neutron bomb... or your franchise wide receiver going down in Week 2 with a broken ankle.
4) Check out those foreboding clouds hovering over Megatron's head. The last time I saw cumulonimbus clouds like that was in the final scene of The Terminator where Sarah Connor drives off into the Mexican desert storm toward an inevitable apocalypse.
5) This might be nitpicking, but do a quick glance of the "Not Rated" graphic in the lower left corner of the cover. To the untrained eye, it looks eerily like the R.I.P. that would appear on a tombstone.
What do you think?