Chad Johnson sex tape hits Internet, Ocho complains to the FBI
I think it would be eight times cooler if Ochocinco did a sex tape with Octomom. Wouldn't that make sense on some numeric level?
Excerpts and still photos of the Chad Johnson sex tape surfaced online Monday. The "video" is really not even two seconds worth of video, and then just a bunch of screen shots. We see Ocho with an ample brunette bouncing on his lap for about 1.5 seconds. Then the video just becomes a montage of still photos set to a boilerplate racist/misogynist hip hop track wherein "Ocho Cinco!" is shouted repeatedly.
The NSFW footage is available online at World Star Hip Hop, but don't get your hopes up. There is practically no sex. The words "World Star Hip Hop" are watermarked and slathered all over the screen. If you want to see something sexually arousing, this video is definitely not for you.
Johnson himself is hardly turned on by the video's release. TMZ reports that Johnson is "furious" and "believes the video was hacked from his phone." He has ordered his attorneys to begin fashioning cease and desist letters, and has enlisted the FBI to help find the leaker or leakers of the video.
At least the video did not ruin Christmas in the on-again Ochocinco-Lozada household. (Chad and Ms. Lozada are no longer married, but do currently live together). Chad explains via his Twitter that the tape is more than three years old. Ms. Lozada, for her part, observed accurately that "Stripper W athlete = Boring sex tape", and also "Those chicks in the video are not my "friends" & the video is old news over here in my circle - Merry Christmas f***s!"
You work on rebuilding that relationship with Ms. Lozada, Chad Johnson. It's not every day you meet a woman who will tweet "Merry Christmas f***s!"