We mentioned yesterday that Charles Barkley was arrested on suspicion of DUI. Now, thanks to sites like The Smoking Gun, we have a few more details, and it's only getting better.

According to the police report (which can be viewed here in full), Barkley ran through a stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up a girl for oral sex. Yes, that's the explanation that he gave the police officer. Apparently, he had been with this girl the week before, and she was so great that he had to speed to get there. While he was drunk. It just couldn't wait.

This probably isn't going to bode well for Barkley's political career, although the good people of Alabama might look past it and make him the governor some day anyway.

Barkley failed every possible sobriety test, and felt compelled to repeatedly tell the officer that he didn't do any drugs. Call me crazy, but I have a nagging feeling that this might get even better once the results of his blood test come back. Methinks Sir Charles doth protest too much. But that's something that we'll find out shortly, I'm sure.

Police also found a handgun in Barkley's vehicle. No word yet on whether it was registered, but it's probably not the best idea in the world to drive drunk with a gun in your car. Call it a hunch.

Barkley was very polite with officers, according to the report, offering to tattoo his name on their asses if they would let him go. He quickly realized his mistake and corrected himself, and said that he would tattoo the officer's name on his ass. Unfortunately for Chuck, it didn't work. Shocking.

Hopefully he can avoid trouble in the future. Between his gambling problems and now this, it might be time for an intervention for Sir Charles.


Charles Barkley's Oral Statements [The Smoking Gun] via [Deadspin]