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7/3/08
Chinese Anti-Terror Police Use Segways
China To Kill Terrorists By Making Them Laugh To Death
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With the Olympics just a little over a month away, China is ramping up its security forces to deal with any potential terrorist threats. Which is understandable, since you want to be as prepared as possible.

But you probably don't want to look this stupid in the process.

China seems to have decided to do everything possible to make their anti-terror police look like absolute imbeciles by putting them on Segways. I'm not sure how hard it is to unload a clip while you're flying around on a Segway, but I'd have to imagine it's somewhat difficult.
Members of the country's armed police unit practised on the Segway models that have been re-named 'Anti-Terror Assault Vehicles' in the eastern province of Shandong.

Officials have bought 100 Segways and painted some in military camouflage to patrol airports and sporting venues during the Games.

Camouflaged Segways? They should work wonderfully at the airport. No one will ever see the police coming. And even if they do, they'll be paralyzed by laughter.

Plus I like how they've been renamed "Anti-Terror Assault Vehicles." I guess that means I can call my bike a "Terrorist Destroying Cruise Missile Thingamajig."

And, correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't escaping from these things be rather easy? It's like the Chinese police assume terrorists have never learned how to hop over a fence.

These Segways combined with the toilets that pop out of the ground, the hilarious Chinglish signs, the lack of Western style toilets, and the rampant pollution should make this one hell of a Games. I can't wait.

[HT: Deadspin]
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