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About the Author - CriticalFanatic
"Kevin Pritchard is working over the NBA"

Jason
Chicago, IL
Male 28 years old

About Me:
Somehow remain a passionate sports fan despite living and dying with the Chicago Cubs and Michigan State athletics. Born in California, grew up in Michigan and went to college at Miami U (Ohio). All of which have shaped my sports fandom. Also a featured blogger and editor of this fine website you might have heard about called FanIQ.
Chris Cooley Explains NFL Drug Testing

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Chris Cooley and His Urine

by CriticalFanatic CriticalFanatic | >7 days ago12 Comment Comments »

Chris Cooley Explains NFL Drug Testing PhotoChris Cooley is quickly becoming my favorite player in the NFL. (Considering I don't like anyone on the Bears, that's less of a compliment, but oh well.)

A few weeks ago we noted that the Redskins tight end has achieved elite status among professional athletes blogging with his detailed answer to who would win a tag team wrestling match pitting him and his girlfriend against Romo-Jessica.

Cooley not only has his own blog, but now occasionally writes for Yahoo!Sports NFL blog Shutdown Corner.

His latest entry will make you pee your pants. Here's his priceless lede:
How do I end up in a bathroom stall at the Borgata with my pants around my ankles while a man named Bill stares at my penis?
Yep, an entire blog post about his urine sample and some details into the NFL drug testing procedure. I don't want to leak too much of what he had to say, but I'll leave you with this:

"Not many words were said in the stall. Both of us were completely comfortable with the procedure. Bill took out the package, but I was the one who had to break the seal. I ripped open the plastic container, revealing a short plastic cup to capture my random urine sample.


I had known Bill was going to show up around four in the afternoon, so I was well prepared. After drinking five or six cranberry juices I couldn't wait to go, but I figured that was a good thing. I couldn't risk having stage fright in that type of situation. I mean, what would I have done? Chat it up with Bill over a couple of beers while he stared at my junk?"

Good stuff. Seriously, if for some reason, some extremely viable reason, the benefits of sports blogging surpassed those of professional football players, Cooley would have himself a hell of a career if he was so inclined.


The Cooley Zone: Adventures in NFL drug testing [Shutdown Corner]


Read Related:  NFL
Teams:  Washington Redskins
Players:  Chris Cooley
 &nbp;
TOP COMMENT * * * * * * * * * * * *
#13 | 58 days ago

+6 thumbs upBill took out the package, but I was the one who had to break the seal.

There's no other way to read that. Nope, none at all.
  
12 Comments | Sorted by Most Recent First

Vote for your favorite comments. Fans decide the Top Comment (3+ votes) and also hide poor quality comments (4+ votes).
#1 | 58 days ago

+2 thumbs upBut he'd have nothing to blog about if he wasn't playing football.
#2 | 58 days ago

+6 thumbs upBill took out the package, but I was the one who had to break the seal.

There's no other way to read that. Nope, none at all.
#3 | 58 days ago

Jon wrote:
Bill took out the package, but I was the one who had to break the seal.

There's no other way to read that. Nope, none at all.
+2 thumbs upI had to read that sentence twice.
#4 | 58 days ago

+1 thumbs upIt's definitely a double-entendre whether he meant it to be or not.
#5 | 58 days ago

+1 thumbs upAnd for future reference, don't yawn when being photographed looking at somebody's penis, it looks like an admiring gasp.  Better yet, tell photographers to gtfo.  Then again, maybe Cooley is packing and the guy was shocked.
#6 | 57 days ago

RenegadeLG wrote:
And for future reference, don't yawn when being photographed looking at somebody's penis, it looks like an admiring gasp.  Better yet, tell photographers to gtfo.  Then again, maybe Cooley is packing and the guy was shocked.
+1 thumbs upWhat makes you think he is yawning?
#7 | 51 days ago

Lol...or mabey he's saying something tot the effect of "wow....ive never seen(or not seen, howeer you want it) one that tiny." Lol...i kid....i kid
#8 | 38 days ago

ryan60392005 wrote:
What the hell?
#9 | 38 days ago

Jubanator14 wrote:
What the hell?
These are popping up everywhere.  Spam is commonplace on the internet.  Programs are designed to google specific topics and create bots to spam the threads.  Tons of phantom accounts are popping up on FanIQ which is unusual since it's a pretty obscure site.  They obviously need to implement one of those anti-spam "Type what you see in the box" things for people that are registering.  Dunno why they haven't already.
#10 | 38 days ago

RenegadeLG wrote:
These are popping up everywhere.  Spam is commonplace on the internet.  Programs are designed to google specific topics and create bots to spam the threads.  Tons of phantom accounts are popping up on FanIQ which is unusual since it's a pretty obscure site.  They obviously need to implement one of those anti-spam "Type what you see in the box" things for people that are registering.  Dunno why they haven't already.
+1 thumbs upI figured that much but damn, after reading that I am more confused about what exactly the spam account wants me to vote for.
#11 | 38 days ago

Jubanator14 wrote:
I figured that much but damn, after reading that I am more confused about what exactly the spam account wants me to vote for.
Even those Nigerian bank account scammers are manifesting onto FanIQ.  I was leaving Jess a comment the other day and noticed all the spammers on her page, it was pretty funny.  Since she's the greeter around here she takes the brunt of it.  I'll sometimes get random messages from some faceless user from Haiti that loves me.  The really crappy thing is that they all have 20+ recruits, so more are hatching every day.
#12 | 38 days ago

RenegadeLG wrote:
Even those Nigerian bank account scammers are manifesting onto FanIQ.  I was leaving Jess a comment the other day and noticed all the spammers on her page, it was pretty funny.  Since she's the greeter around here she takes the brunt of it.  I'll sometimes get random messages from some faceless user from Haiti that loves me.  The really crappy thing is that they all have 20+ recruits, so more are hatching every day.
+2 thumbs upActually I got one today, and the person actually had a face, I was almost amazed enough to not report it....almost.

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