Hypothetically speaking, let's just say you're a fanatical Spartan fan. You grew up going to games every weekend. You recall Lorenzo White high striding into the Rose Bowl end zone in 1988; you remember when George Perles used to send out a tough, physical Spartan defense that actually beat the Wolverines. You ran a 4.4 40-sprint around your basement after a Paul Edinger field goal to beat Florida in the '00 Citrus Bowl, only to get lapped by your dad. You also have desperately tried to rid your mind of the '02 season with Jeff 'coke' Smoker. And the of course, you've had to endure the Wily E. Coyote Era which was one collective embarrassment. Hell, even if you're a Big Ten rival fan you were embarrassed.

So now, you're rejuvenated with the promise Mark Dantonio brings to East Lansing. You've had an internal clock counting down days, hours, minutes until the season starts for over 9 months. You're having trouble sitting down for more than a few minutes at a time with the season just a few days away, because you've never been this excited for Spartan Football.

THEN, you check out the announcing assignments for the opening weekend of college football. Scrolling down the list you stop on UAB vs Michigan State (ESPN2). Alright!

Pam Ward. (cue: Price is Right losing sound)

Might as well have told me John L Smith getting fired was just a joke and he's actually returning to Spartan Stadium this fall. Maybe I let announcers dictate my enjoyment of a sporting event more than I should, but nothing ... NOTHING kills the energy of a football game better than Pam Ward.

Give me a drunk Brent Musberger talking just to hear the sound of his voice, give me the hardly coherent Lou Holtz, hell, give me Joe Theismann. Anyone but Pam Ward. One of the many benefits of cheering on a winning team is avoiding that ominous 12 pm ESPN2. So be glad this Saturday that you'll have more fun watching your team than I.

If you could pick any play-by-play person to call your teams' games, who would pick?