Saturday afternoon the North Carolina Tar Heels were forced to wave the white flag against Virginia Tech. Not because they were getting beaten so badly, but because they reached that 40-plus lead threshold that says it's safe to go with the "Ghostly Five." (Pic courtesy of Mr. Irrelevant)Jamie Mottram, of Yahoo! Sports fame, also commented on Mr. Irrelevant that the UNC white boys crew was "like the bizarro 1966 Texas Western team."
The thought of an all white-lineup winning the NCAA tournament in today's day and age literally seems impossible. In fact, my best guess is that the last time an all-white starting lineup trotted out and won the NCAA tournament was the 1958 Kentucky Wildcats. In other words, half a century ago.
Unless some school finds a pipeline for European talent that wants to booze it up at American colleges before heading to the NBA, it just isn't going to happen.
But it does raise an interesting question. What if we combined the best white players in today's game for an ultra-whitewash squad. Could they actually win the tourney? Or would they just spend every game launching threes and taking charges?
To try and determine this, 100% and I thought we'd put together the All-Star College White Guy Squad. Here's who we've got on the team.
Starters
PG Greg Paulus, Duke - No All-White Boy team would be complete without 1) a Duke guard 2) flopping specialist and 3) that pesky, hustling fundamental prick everyone hates. Fortunately with Paulus, we get all three of those wrapped in one.
SG Drew Neitzel, Michigan State - By his and preseason magazine standards, DNite is having a disappointing season. But it's not so much him as opponents have decided they'll do whatever it takes to eliminate him and deal with the rest. Neitzel can still stroke it as well as any undersized two-guard in the country.
SF Chase Budinger, Arizona - Also a member of the All-Hair team. If it wasn't for his occasional dud game, Chase would stand a good chance of making any All-American roster.
PF Tyler Hansbrough, North Carolina - Pyscho T is averageing 22 and 10, and well on his way for a few player of the year awards. Trouble is, too many NBA scouts are comparing him to Mark Madsen and no one wants that. Have to think Tyler has better dance moves.
C Kevin Love, UCLA - There's no surer bet for a double-double in the country, he's averaging 17 and 11.
Bench
G Jason Richards, Davidson - Leads D1 in assists, which is to say he has Stephen Curry on his team.
G A.J. Graves, Butler - Fills the small town Indiana sharp shooter role.
F Lee Cummard, BYU - Who? Yep, one of the most underrated players in the country. So underrated, I won't even tell you about him.
F Kyle Singler, Duke - Was a lock to make the squad, simply because you don't get any whiter.
F Luke Harangoody, Notre Dame - Got to love the overachieving, overweight, undersized PF/C for the Irish. For those of you scoring at home, that's the states of Oregon and Indiana duking it out for the most representatives. Raise your hand if you're surprised.
C Jon Brockman, Washington - Not much difference between him and Love except publicity.
C A.J. Ogilvy, Vanderbilt - No team of this ilk would be complete without a big man foreigner (Australia).
Team Manager: Brian Butch, Wisconsin
In all honesty, this would be an incredibly fearsome lineup and would have to be one of the favorites to win it all. You'd think they could hang with and beat a number of the top teams in the country - if not all of them. It'd also be rather hilarious to see Paulus play, and flop, against himself.
So while it's impossible in today's day and age for a squad of white guys to do what 1966 Texas Western did, maybe in a bizarro world they actually could.











more


