Darrelle Revis trade rumors run amok

Loud, confused sources confirm: Something happening regarding Revis

3/7/13 in NFL   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

Blog Photo - Darrelle Revis trade rumors run amock
The following article, despite being based loosely on non-fiction and bearing a polar resemblance to fact, is truer than you will ever know. Quotes made in this article are conjured out of pure inspiration, while the opinions expressed here are derived from what is both authentic and just.

According to a gaggle of disoriented journalists yelping at the top of their lungs, something is almost definitely happening regarding Darelle Revis, they're just not quite sure what. Basing their stories on pure, professional-grade speculation, members of the media have concluded that one way or another, like it or not, it's goin' down. 

A week ago, anonymous, shadowy sources pointed to the San Francisco 49ers as a potential, probable, and indeniable landing spot for Darrelle Revis. After ESPN diligently refuted it's own report, we found ourselves down to 30 other teams that will each, in their own way, make a move for the pro-bowl corner.

"I could see him ending up with any number of teams," said one eager young journalist, who has been described by his peers as a "go-getter," "a real shark," and "one who fabricates stories." "No, seriously, if you put Darrelle in Photoshop, you can literally see him in any given uniform. I even did one where he ended up with the Minnesota Twins!-- who clearly need a veteran presence in the outfield."

Regardless of where Revis Island ends up this coming season, or in 2014 when he must re-negotiate his contract (God help us all) we can be entirely, one-hundred percent, wholeheartedly certain of one thing: the Jets will have made the wrong move. 

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