Days later, Goodell overheard asking friends if they DVR'd Pro Bowl

1/31/13 in NFL   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

Blog Photo - Days later, Goodell overheard asking friends if they DVR'd Pro Bowl
 
The following article, despite being based loosely on non-fiction and bearing a polar resemblance to fact, is truer than you will ever know. Quotes made in this article are conjured out of pure inspiration, while the opinions expressed here are derived from what is both authentic and just.

Days after praising the Pro Bowl for a 'noticeable improvement in quality,' NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has been overheard furtively asking friends if they happen to have DVR'd the event. 

"I'm fairly certain that Mr. Goodell did not watch the Pro Bowl at all," whispered one co-worker, who wishes to remain anonymous, fearing for the safety of himself and his family. "How can he continue to support this farce of a football game if he won't even watch a minute of it himself?" asked Garrett Smith, anonymously. 

An apathetic approach to the Pro Bowl the past few years has spurred critics to propose any number of alternatives to football's version of the All-Star game, including but not limited to: a Honolulu-based reality show where all the players live in one house for a month, a swimming contest, nothing at all, a spoken-word poetry sesh in which the pro-bowlers reflect on the season past, a trip to the local fair, and a Toys 'R' Us shopping spree. Despite plenty of feasible options, Goodell is sticking to the current format.

"What? I totally saw the game," remarked Goodell while avoiding eye contact. "If I didn't watch the game, how else would I know that Peyton Manning played with a startling amount of intensity, that nobody caught a pass with more than one hand all day, and that everybody treated the ball as if it had leprosy." 

More anonymous reports from Garrett Smith indicate that the commissioner has still yet to find anybody who cared enough to DVR the Pro Bowl.


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1/31/13   |   Kenne   |   15949 respect

I'm sure it isn't a problem for him to get a transcript. NBC has to have one and he has exclusive rights to it. I bet he would watch it muted, I somehow doubt he also wants to listen to Cris Collinsworth's obvious commentary.

I've heard rumors that they may start doing the Pro Bowl a month or two after the Super Bowl, just before the combine. I dont think it's such a bad idea, gives fans a chance to miss football enough to take better interest in it. I think the concept of the Pro Bowl is interesting, but the game is always pointless and boring to watch. Maybe they should just name the rosters and leave it at that. These star players are seriously risking injury going up against stacked defenses for no reason at all.