Days after praising the Pro Bowl for a 'noticeable improvement in quality,' NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has been overheard furtively asking friends if they happen to have DVR'd the event.
"I'm fairly certain that Mr. Goodell did not watch the Pro Bowl at all," whispered one co-worker, who wishes to remain anonymous, fearing for the safety of himself and his family. "How can he continue to support this farce of a football game if he won't even watch a minute of it himself?" asked Garrett Smith, anonymously.
An apathetic approach to the Pro Bowl the past few years has spurred critics to propose any number of alternatives to football's version of the All-Star game, including but not limited to: a Honolulu-based reality show where all the players live in one house for a month, a swimming contest, nothing at all, a spoken-word poetry sesh in which the pro-bowlers reflect on the season past, a trip to the local fair, and a Toys 'R' Us shopping spree. Despite plenty of feasible options, Goodell is sticking to the current format.
"What? I totally saw the game," remarked Goodell while avoiding eye contact. "If I didn't watch the game, how else would I know that Peyton Manning played with a startling amount of intensity, that nobody caught a pass with more than one hand all day, and that everybody treated the ball as if it had leprosy."
More anonymous reports from Garrett Smith indicate that the commissioner has still yet to find anybody who cared enough to DVR the Pro Bowl.