Everybody's mother asks the question "why Sanchez and Tebow can't both be the starting quarterback?"

10/12/12 in NFL   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

Blog Photo - Everybody's mother asks the question "why Sanchez and Tebow can't both be the starting quarterback?"
 
The following article, despite being based loosely on non-fiction and bearing a polar resemblance to fact, is truer than you will ever know. Quotes made in this article are conjured out of pure inspiration, while the opinions expressed here are derived from what is both authentic and just.

As the debate rages over which sub-par quarterback should lead the Jets on another storied Jet campaign, everybody's mother, speaking very loudly so as to be heard over Stephen A. Smith, asks why Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow can't both be starters. This simple question, as beautiful in it's innocence at it is annoying because it's our mom, may inspire a new way at looking at the entire debacle that is New York Jet Football.

"It just seems that if this is the disagreement, then there's only one fair way to settle things-- let both of them be the starting quarterback," said one mother as she sliced rhubarb in preparation for something that will be either baked or cooked weeks down the line. "That's my decision and if they don't like it well, you know what, maybe nobody has to play football this year." 

Fighting the urge to dismiss this idea because it's our moms' and,  "mom, just, shhh, you don't know what you're talking about," they may be on to something here. Let's take a look at this in completely objective, scientific terms.

Both Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow have, over their career, completed just around 50% of their passes each. Now if you combine the efforts of these two individuals, that would equal either completions all the time, or no completions at all, ever again-- a chance the Jets could we willing to take. Further, the marriage of Tim Tebow's leadership skills and ability to move in the pocket with Mark Sanchez's normal throwing motion and uh...  his uh... he's dating Eva Longoria? Sure-- and Mark's New York pizzazz/blatant disregard for God-- the two of them, together, might just equal the entire package at the quarterback position.

Overlooking these clear-cut numbers, the Jets brass insists that this is not that answer at QB. "No, there's no way we're putting two guys at one position," guffawed Rex Ryan. "Mark's our quarterback this Sunday, and for practically every day leading up to Sunday. I will not commit to Friday and we'll see what happens next week, taking into special consideration nearly everything that can possibly be considered. Also, anything that happens after lunchtime is 100% beyond my control."

No matter how you look at it, sitting at 2-3, the Jets have to do something to jumpstart their season. At this point they've tried cornerback Antonio Cromartie as a wide receiver, Tim Tebow in the slot, Shonn Greene as a bench player, Tim Tebow as a punt protector, Mark Sanchez as a double-agent, Tim Tebow as a tight end, owner Woody Johnson as a general manager, Tim Tebow as a halfback, Joe McKnight as a cornerback, Tim Tebow as an onside kick hands team player, Rex Ryan as credible and Tim Tebow as a bare-chested mascot. If the root of all their problems has been staring them in the face this whole time, they still haven't been able to find the right permutation and crack the code.

Out of newfangled interpretations on how to play football and out of options, it may just be time for the Jets to listen to their mother. 

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