Let's get started!
Bengals @ Texans
Mojo: All the incense and Namaste in the world can’t cover up the stench of the used diaper filled with Indian food that’s been emanating from Houston lately. Seriously H-Town, open the roof on Reliant Stadium. Light a match. Do something!?
Advantage: Cincy by default.
It’s chess, not checkers: Lewis vs. Kubiac is NO Kasparov vs. Karpov. Whoever’s wearing the Kevlar shoes wins this foot-shooting contest.
Advantage: Push(ish). Gun to my head (or foot) Kubes, but too close to call.
X-Factor: Cincy has a pretty good, underrated Front-7. Houston has a Hulk, J.J. Watt.
Advantage: The Avengers, errr, Texans.
Magic 8 Ball says: Signs point to Houston
What the hell?! Were you drunk? Geez. I'm not breaking this down like that. I am on my way to less than sober...like 2.87 hours on the way. Mmhmm. Sooo... Let's do this!
Cincy and Houston? That dude is NOT mah ginga, at all. He looks mighty children of the corn-ish (hen) *snort* and JJ Watt looks like an amazing Nosferatu like beast!! I am digging AJ Green still but I'm not sold on them as a unit. He's gud though. KubiYAK is the deal breaker. I just.... I can't. Schaub has been Forrest Gump-ish for the last few weeks, on the whining over Jennay days not the I met the damn president ones. He's unreliable right now, so I'm looking for Foster and the defense to bail him out. Go Texans! No ceilings!
*The giggling girls (my sisters) beside me claim the Bengals are going to be victorious.
I don't get the fascination with JJ Watt. I mean, he seems like a really cool guy, but he looks like Ryan Lochte 2.0 to me.
Are the Texans who we thought they were? Or are they still imploding? I regrettably admit, I haven't really had a chance to pay much attention to either of these teams this year. Okay maybe not regrettably...I've had a pretty good football season. Anyway, being at home, I think that Houston has the edge in this one. Barely.
Vikings @ Packers
Mojo: Peterson’s supernatural ‘Tecmo Bo Jackson / All Day’ powers are up against the Discount Double Check at home. Also Rodgers fired a “Bring it on!” shot earlier in the week. Not one Viking came back with a “Oh, it’s going to be brought!”
Chess, not checkers: Frazier may have to open things up with Ponder, who’s as shaky as a Jenga tower on the fourth go round. All McCarthy has to do is pat Rodgers on the butt and say, “Go get ‘em big fella.” Advantage: Packers
X-Factor: Mother Nature. The Vikings are, in horse racing parlance, ‘mudders.’ Bad weather may equal bad news for the Pack. By the way, it’s Wisconsin. In January.
Advantage: Tecmo Bo, All Day.
Common sense says the Packers are gonna destroy Minnesota. BUT, common sense also said the Packers were gonna destroy Seattle (heh, yeah I said it. shoulda, coulda, didn't), and the Colts (mmhmm), so kill that noise. Minny has played mediocre defense lately, and if they don't bring it, the Packers will indeed destroy them. Hit Rodgers... a lot! Minny has to ride the coattails, is that one word, of Peterson ALL DAY. Ponder can't be trusted and Thor Matthews is probably gonna try to eat his babies. Bless his heart. Minny in a sad, sad miracle. (DMX growl)
*giggling girls say Packers.
Sorry, I got a little carried away. Anyway...
Man, I'm tired of hearing about the Packers and Seattle. Can we just move on? No? Okay, I tried. Maybe next year.
Obviously Peterson enjoys running against the Packers. I'm not sure he'll have another 200+ yard game, especially being the playoffs and Green Bay, but I expect it to be another big one. Can Minny pull off two wins in a row against the Pack? I doubt it. There's just too much more (or less?) going on in this game than AD.
Who do you think will win today's games? Give us your thoughts below, and join us here all day for Wild Card Saturday!