NFL, Rex Ryan

Fireman Ed distraught to find no pension after retiring as Jets superfan

11/27/12 in NFL   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

Blog Photo - Fireman Ed distraught to find no pension after retiring as Jets superfan
 
After 37 years of loyal service, Fireman Ed, better known on the West Coast as "who? what? why are we talking about this?" has stepped down from the esteemed position atop his buddys shoulders, only to find that his dedication has not been rewarded with any semblance of a pension or retirement plan.

The position, now vacant, not only required Ed to start J-E-T-S chants at every home game, but called on the embattled fireman to maintain a high level of emotional investment in the team for nearly 4 decades. The job has left Fireman Ed tired, disillusioned, and sapped of any will left to fight. Worse, he's left with little to no options without a pension he thought he had coming.

"I watched the New York Jets for thirty seven years, thirty seven years... of watching the New York Jets," Fireman Ed pleaded tearfully. "I CHEERED FOR THE JETS FOR THIRTY SEVEN YEARS," he continued, haplessly trying to drive his point home like Shonn Greene on a 4th and 1. 

With his shoes ready to be filled, replacements have not been lining up eagerly to take Ed's place. At this point, the best candidate seems to be Rex Ryan himself, the only Jet fan bigger than Ed in all the Meadowlands, the only Jet fan willing to make an ass out of himself on television atleast once a week. 

"And I'll be the best god damn 'guy-on-other-guys shoulders' that I can be, I can guarantee you that," guaranteed Ryan, assuaging everybodys fear that he would be out of work next season.

Fireman Ed will continue to attend all Jets home games, but plans to do so sitting down. 


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11/28/12   |   dlandscaping

fireman dave from patriots fan base says ...i have seen him push other fans and be disrespecfull to fans on national t.v. he is a fan they can live with out  happy he is a quitter

11/28/12   |   Wards_Page   |   248 respect

Fireman Ed really served a purpose. Most Jets fans couldn't spell their team name if you spotted them a "J" and a "T." He'll be missed... by almost no one.