Kobe Bryant is doing anything and everything in his power to jump-start this hapless Lakers team. Look for the following stories to break over the next week as the Lakers consider their downward spiral.
1. Certain that Dwight Howard is lacking a vital sense of urgency, Kobe Bryant has taken to sitting by his bed at night, yelling through a megaphone and setting off flares.
2. In an effort to prove his committment to getting his teammates involved via the assist, Kobe is growing his hair out and plans to fashion it the way Steve Nash does.
3. Trying to not put all the blame on Howard's shoulders, Bryant is preparing a public statement in which he accuses Gasol of making up the term "plantar fascia."
4. Kobe has convinced Metta World Peace to change his name to MAN UP DWIGHT HOWARD.
5. Bryant has walked into Mike D'Antoni's office numerous times, stared straight into his eyes, and told him he's fired. It has yet to work.