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11/22/08
Florida Backup Quarterback Cameron Newton Charged With Stealing Student's Laptop
Tim Tebow's Heir Apparent Is Fond Of Laptops, Intimidating Nerds
It can't be easy being Tim Tebow's backup. Pretty much the whole state of Florida worships Tebow and he even circumcises kids in his spare time. Naturally, that can get under a backup's skin. So much so that he'll steal a laptop.

Ok, maybe that wasn't the perfect segway, but whatever. Tebow's heir apparent, Cameron Newton, was charged Friday with three felony charges of buglary, larceny and intimidating a witness, informant or victim (info on the intimidation was not given). And yes, that's all for stealing a laptop from some nerd. 

Apparently Newton stole the computer back in mid-October, and like any fiendishly smart criminal, eventually decided that the best thing to do would be to use the stolen laptop to access the school's network. Doh.

Ah, but it gets even better friends. When Newton realized he was going to caught, he did what an desperate man would do - he hucked the computer out the window of his third story dorm room.

University police went to Newton’s dorm Friday, were invited inside and noticed the laptop on Newton’s desk. Officers left the room to confirm that the computer matched the serial code of the laptop reported stolen, according to the report. When they returned, it was gone.

According to police, the laptop had been painted black on the top and had “Cam Newton” written on the top in white paint. Officers found the computer behind a trash bin outside the dorm and learned that “Mr. Newton threw the computer out of his bedroom window,” the report said.

Nothing like having your name painted on the hot computer too. Seriously, why not just go all the way and walk around campus with a "Please Arrest Me" sign on you. What a dumbass.

Naturally, after being charged with a felony, Newton was kicked off of the team. Oh wait, no he wasn't. He's just been suspended indefintely. Which means he's obviously pretty talented. And which obviously means he'll be back on the team next year.

That'll teach him.

Watch out for falling objects near Cam Newton's dorm room [Dr. Saturday]

4 comments
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11/22/08
0
(Edited by Heyhey1970)
His decision to paint the laptop cracks me up.  It wouldn't be suspicious at all that Newton would have the only painted laptop on campus.  I love the last thought of the article.  Because he's talented "forgiveness" is on the way.  I'm a big believer in forgiveness but "Johnny Q student" who made the same mistake wouldn't get a 2nd chance to be University of Florida student.

11/22/08
1
Guess he never heard of the library or an internet cafe where he could use a computer instead of stealing one. What a male reproductive organ.

11/22/08
1
Heyhey1970 wrote:
His decision to paint the laptop cracks me up.  It wouldn't be suspicious at all that Newton would have the only painted laptop on campus.  I love the last thought of the article.  Because he's talented "forgiveness" is on the way.  I'm a big believer in forgiveness but "Johnny Q student" who made the same mistake wouldn't get a 2nd chance to be University of Florida student.
Yeah but Johnny Q is a douche bag.

11/22/08
0
Jubanator14 wrote:
Yeah but Johnny Q is a douche bag.
That's true.

 
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