It can't be easy being Tim Tebow's backup. Pretty much the whole state of Florida worships Tebow and he even circumcises kids in his spare time. Naturally, that can get under a backup's skin. So much so that he'll steal a laptop. Ok, maybe that wasn't the perfect segway, but whatever. Tebow's heir apparent, Cameron Newton, was charged Friday with three felony charges of buglary, larceny and intimidating a witness, informant or victim (info on the intimidation was not given). And yes, that's all for stealing a laptop from some nerd.
Apparently Newton stole the computer back in mid-October, and like any fiendishly smart criminal, eventually decided that the best thing to do would be to use the stolen laptop to access the school's network. Doh.
Ah, but it gets even better friends. When Newton realized he was going to caught, he did what an desperate man would do - he hucked the computer out the window of his third story dorm room.
University police went to Newton’s dorm Friday, were invited inside and noticed the laptop on Newton’s desk. Officers left the room to confirm that the computer matched the serial code of the laptop reported stolen, according to the report. When they returned, it was gone.
According to police, the laptop had been painted black on the top and had “Cam Newton” written on the top in white paint. Officers found the computer behind a trash bin outside the dorm and learned that “Mr. Newton threw the computer out of his bedroom window,” the report said.
Nothing like having your name painted on the hot computer too. Seriously, why not just go all the way and walk around campus with a "Please Arrest Me" sign on you. What a dumbass.
Naturally, after being charged with a felony, Newton was kicked off of the team. Oh wait, no he wasn't. He's just been suspended indefintely. Which means he's obviously pretty talented. And which obviously means he'll be back on the team next year.
That'll teach him.
Watch out for falling objects near Cam Newton's dorm room [Dr. Saturday]
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