You may remember we had a story the other day about soccer Ronaldo who made the unfortunate mistake of bringing three transvestite hookers back to his hotel before he realized they were, uh, transvestite hookers.

One of them, you may recall, decided he/she (?) wanted more than $500 to keep his/her mouth shut about the who thing. Like $25,000 more. Hilarity ensued and it all ended at the police station.

But of course, we were all wondering what exactly did the hookers look like? Well, we don't know what they all looked like, but we at least have a picture of the hooker that tried to extort Ronaldo. It's not good. I'm hoping he was drunk, like seriously drunk.

For the life of me, I'll never understand why professional athletes do stuff like this. You're wealthy, famous, and could get any one of a whole host of women out there. But instead, you decide "You know what, I'd rather pay for it tonight."

How does this happen? What brain circuit suddenly exploded? It's a mystery as old as time itself.

Also, let's be honest here, you can do better Ronaldo. Good God, you can do better.