John Keiley needs to stop making bets.

That's because the owner of Johnny's New York Pizza & Pasta shop in the Denver suburb of Lakewood has a habit of losing them. And what does he do when he loses them? He gives away free pizza.

You know what, on second thought, he can keep making those bets as far as I'm concerned.

But there's one bet he made this year that might come back to haunt him just a little bit. Keiley, who hates the Red Sox and Yankees (good man), has painted on the front of his pizza shop that if the Rays win the World Series, he'll provide free pizza to the whole world.

Because I excel at math, I did the calculations and figured out that this would set Keiley back approximately eleventy bajillion dollars. Needless to say, his business might not be able to handle that.

And if you think he won't go through with this should the Rays win, then you don't know Keiley.

He made his first such deal in June 2007, offering free pizza in the unlikely event his hometown Rockies swept the Yankees.

They did, and Keiley gave away 2,500 pizzas — at a cost of about $12,000.

Then, as football season kicked off, he figured he would do it again: Free pizza if any NFL team went 16-0. The New England Patriots did. So on a Sunday in January, Keiley gave away about 1,500 pizzas.

Anyone else starting to think that rather than losing $12,000 making free pizzas that Keiley should just take the $12,000 to Vegas and actually MAKE money off of his bets?

Anyway, I'm now 100% on the Rays bandwagon, and my guess is so are most third world countries.

Just remember that even if the world gets rewarded with free pizza, that doesn't mean all our problems will be solved. There's always the potential for pizza on man violence.



But I guess as long as it's only happening between stupid, drunken Red Sox fans then Keiley will be more than happy to keep churning out the free goodness.

Rays win Series? Pizza for all [St. Petersburg Times]
[Picture courtesy of Deadspin]