From the Armchair: Houston Texans, Week 6
So as this game is drawing to a painfully slow conclusion, I'm trying to find a silver lining...but sorry, no can do. Maybe just a hint of a bright side...nope, nada, not even a brief flash. Started wondering if I could do this from the psychiatrist's couch instead of the armchair...figured I'd get flagged for violating some HIPAA provision, and the penalty would be assessed on the Texans' next kick-off. Hmmm...ok, uhhh, I got nothin'...so here's some Texan-y nuggets from Twitter.
@PatDStat - "It's done. Can't believe this. Collective ending for the #Texans."
@JimmyNeil_NFL - "What the...?!?!?!?!?!"
@DavidNunoABC13 - "The #Texans have now been outscored 65-9 in the last 6.5 quarters."
@ChrisWesseling - "Schaub was not the problem today. Penalties, fumble, + defense rolling over."
@TexansDC - "IT GOT WORSE!"
@taniaganguli - "...Last week wasn't rock bottom. This is rock bottom. #Texans" [Do you promise this is rock bottom? Please, oh please, let this be rock bottom!]
@LiterallyCorzo - "Time to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Take a sledgehammer to the bath and remodel the whole bathroom. #RIP #Texans" [Wonders to self if it's time to burn down whole house. Considers recent Texans' fans actions against Schaub, decides to put that thought away...way far away.]
@McClain_on_NFL - "...Fans are booing unmercifully. I don't blame them."
@ms_hippie_queen - "can someone remind me what it feels like when your team scores a touchdown?" [No, dear, we can't remind you, because we've all forgotten...just what is this thing you call a touchdown?]
@SeanCablinasian - "Texans have been outscored 68-9 since the Sherman pick six. No touchdowns, three field goals, SIX turnovers, and ten miles in penalties."
@LanceZierlein - "OMG. The Texans are a complete and utter disaster on almost every level at this point..."
@randyharvey - "Even before falling behind 24-6 on #Rams first drive of 2nd half, #Texans looked like a beaten team..."
@marshdeedee - "Ouch. #Texans #blesstheirhearts" [That hashtag was apparently customized just for you Ashlie!]
@ChronBrianSmith - "#Texans...on verge of going 4-8 after 11-1 start in 2012."
@sportywineguy - "Looks like the Texans have thrown in the towel too. Kubiak in trouble? Wade Phillips interim head coach? McNair should be furious. #Texans"
@BobSlovak13 - "This is unbelievable. Season on the line and you play like this. Schaub won't be the only one going after this."
@GregBailey13 - "Listless and lifeless #Texans. Like someone pulled the plug on the players and the stadium. ZERO energy."
@richeisen - "Yates just threw a Schaub. Unbelievable." ['Unbelievable' seems to be a recurring theme around here.]
@marcusnyce - "TJ Yikes...there ya go. #Pray4Houston" ["Gee, thanks Marcus", HouTxFans said snarkily, "We feel better already!"]
@JPalmerCSN - "Duane Brown was already off the field with his helmet off before Alec Ogletree crossed the goal line on that pick 6..." Hmmm...I love Duane Brown, but that ain't cool.
@SteelerJoe76 - "About time for the Texans to pull the bubble wrap off Case Keenum." I wish it weren't so Joe. We can't have nice things, you know, plus I'm afraid we'll get the little guy killed.
@BigRon281 - "Of course. If you're gonna flame out...It's gotta be spectacular. #Texans"
@McClain_on_NFL - "The Texans were so awful they scored the hat trick of futility - allowing TDs on offense, defense and special teams." Hey look, Becky...hat tricks aren't just for hockey!
@nfl - "The Texans out-gained the Rams nearly 2:1 in total yards...and lost by 25 points. #STLvsHOU"
@bigfatdrunk - "The #Texans committed more turnovers today (4) than they've created all season (3)."
@PayneNFL - "One positive way to work through your anger is to stay up all night lashing out at people who
tweet 'Houston we have a problem'." Preach it Seth...talk about the shark having been jumped, and besides, it's not nice to point!
And now, the ultimate sign that the apocalypse is upon H-town...
@VinceYoung - "Let them know VY is in shape and ready to go! I always loved my birth place...IM READY!"
See what you idiots who cheered Schaub's injury did...now we're getting smited! Oh dear...please God, no...if we promise to never again cheer that a player is injured...make him go away and send us that Manziel boy from A&M.
Tune in for next week's episode when the imploding Houston Texans face the undefeated Kansas City Chiefs.