From the Armchair: Falcons, Week 10
Ash: Well helloooo.
Beans: The year 2013 hates me.
Ash: Well good thing it’s almost done.
Beans: Yes. Do you hate me for hyping this cluster**** up?
Ash: Ha, course not. I find you quite entertaining, Beans.
Beans: Wait, are you laughing with me or at me? I can handle both
Ash: Both. lol
Beans: I think I have found the next purchase in my ATL Falcons gear collection. They have a Falcons belt buckle that has a bottle opener on it. At least it would be useful. Looks like it would go well with my Nike shorts, cowboy hat, and upcoming cowboy boots purchase. They want $26 bucks for it so it would just be a continuation of the hosing they have been handing me this year. Why do I feel like Linus in a pumpkin patch?
Ash: Hah. Does that make me Lucy?
Beans: No, you can be Ashlie and I can be Beans. We can wait in the Georgia Dome for the Atlanta Falcons to show up and win a game. I knew it would be ugly, no matter how good Jess tried to make us feel in last week's Armchair.
Ash: Oh Jess and that reverse psychology crap she's been saying every game all season! I’m on to her game.
Beans: Yeah, she can't trick us... can she? I think a blood alcohol level of 0.4 is the only way to watch the Falcons from here on out. As dismal as it is going, I am really looking forward to the Birds beating the crap out of the S*ints at the Dome soon. (Here is where we sit in the Georgia Dome and wait on the Great Falcons.)
Ash: (Ha. I’ll be drunk.)…. And that sounds right.
Beans: I think it is just fugly from this point out. Ryan threw 36 passes without one ending up in Sherman's hands, so that was one positive. Jackson had a 9 rushes for 11 yards kind of day. Luckily, we have him back in the lineup.
Ash: Lmao. I can't do this with you. I have nothing on this game.
Beans: I miss Turner. I know he was slow as a herd of snails wading through peanut butter, but he could have fallen 9 times and averaged at least two yards a carry.
Ash: Well, we have 3 RB options and it’s like they realized that, but very late. Stupidness.
Ash: I watched it all, and I was happy for the positives and felt nothing during the failures. I actually don’t think I cussed or discussed one second of the game Sunday. I may have gone crazy. LOL
Beans: Yeah, I get what you are saying. I keep saying I don't care. Then I cry for about three hours. Then say I don't care for a few hours. So on and so on...
Ash: Vicious cycle. I’m dead inside now.
Beans: At least the defense looked awesome.
Ash: Uh yeah, idk if that was a joke or not.
Beans: You know I am talking about Seattle here, right?
Ash: Ha! kk
Beans: I am trying to pick some positives.
Ash: I see. Continue.
Ash: I got to see Thor and Loki on Thorsday. That was my weekend positive, btw. My
contribution to this Armchair.
Beans: I raked leaves and told a neighbor down the street to quit dumping his leaves in a gully across from me.
Ash: Walker, Texas Ranger is on. He probably can play safety.
Beans: Yeah, I wish the Ricky Bobby movie came out before I named my daughters. I would have named the oldest one Walker and the other, well, you know.
Beans: My new shoes came in today. Speaking of the Falcons running game…
Ash: Oooh shoes!
Beans: Oh, and my beard is coming in all white. Just in time for Christmas.
Ash: SANTA! I'm so happy about that!
Beans: I am looking for some ATL Falcons dr*wers online, that way when they get beat I can go outside with a cold brew and p*ss all in them. I'll consider it therapy.
Ash: Who said what now? lol
Beans: Nothing, I was just thinking out loud kinda.
Ash: Don’t let the Falcons make you incontinent. They mess up their own underpants enough.
Beans: Oh, don't worry about the Falcons doing that to me, I plan to stay in the United States the whole time I'm doing it.
Ash: *snort* very well then.
Beans: I want them to beat the S*ints, Ashlie. And the Panthers are really ticking me off.
Ash: Right? Those C**** ***********. BOOO!
Beans: 10-9 over San Fran.
Beans: I wanted it to be a tie.
Anyway, we will be on some field next week looking bewildered. Til then. Whatever.