From the Armchair: Miami Dolphins Week 10
I liked you for no other reason than because years ago my grandfather was d**k to me and turned off my AWA Wrestling. His Houston Oilers were playing the Miami Dolphins at the same time The Fabulous Freebirds were feuding with the Road Warriors AND HE DIDN'T EVEN CARE! What a d**k. So you know what i did? I told him i hoped his stupid team lost and every time the Dolphins did something good i acted like half a retard.
I jumped and clapped and HA'd at the TV with all the spectacle my Ritalin needing ass could muster. And it stuck. From that point on every time he saw me he asked me how my Dolphins were doing. I'd give him some bulls**t answer like "Theyre doing AAAMAAAZING" and make up some crap like i actually gave two sh**s. He would smirk and nod and walk off and i would go on doing whatever the f**k i was doing...playing GI Joe or smelling dirt...thinking that i had just in yo face'd that old man again...*fistpump*.
Sigh...so thats how the Miami Dolphins went from being "my team" to being my team. But last night...as i was watching my team go down 15-0 to a bunch of winless petri dishes i couldn't help but think i was only going through the motions just like i did that day thirty years ago. Why do i care? Obviously im rooting for an organization that hasn't given two sh**s since football jesus retired 13 years ago. So..you know what? They dont care...i dont care. Call me when Jeff "Bitch T**s" Ireland gets fired and ill hop back on the wagon.
P.S. How can anyone look at Philbin and not immediately think HIDE THE DRAGONS!