Fun Spectator Sports To Do In China During the Olympics: Huck Live Goats Into a Den Of Lions
If you're going to the Olympics in Beijing in August, you're bound to have some down time. Luckily, China has you covered. Want to fire off an anti-aircraft rocket launcher after having just sat through four hours of rhythmic gymnastics? The Chinese military will let you do that, no problem.
But let's say that's not your cup of tea. Let's say you want to taste some of the Chinese culture and take part in a fun spectator sport.
Ah, you're covered there too, my friend.
Just an hour's drive from the main Olympic attractions in Beijing is the Badaling Zoo. And here you can participate in, uh, stuff that Michael Vick and Pedro Martinez would really enjoy.
In what has become a rather popular spectator sport in China, you can select live animals of your choosing and then either huck them into a pit of lions, or if that's not fun enough for you, you can also dangle them in front of the lions on sticks. Hey, it beats watching Olympic speedwalking.
So wait, can you show me in detail how this works? Of course we can.
Step 1: Select your goat of choice and take him to the lions den.
Step 2: Give him a good toss. Try to pretend you're an Olympic shot-putter. Remember, good form counts.
Step 3: Sit back and watch the magic happen.
You smell that? That's the smell of progress, world. Or dead goat. One or the other.
As I said before, if you prefer to antagonize the lions first, you can do that as well. The method for that is to tie a chicken to a stick and dangle it in front of the lions. Classy.
Apparently hucking coins at tortoises is also a popular game. Legend has it that if you hit a tortoise on the head with a coin and make a wish, then your heart's desire will come true. It's the Chinese equivalent of a village wishing well, except you know, you're hurting animals in the process.
Anyway, there's no question that this great spectator sport will wow the crowds when they're not at the Olympic Games. Wow them, indeed.