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7/2/08
Going For The Gold - In The Sack
Athletes Meet in Beijing For Medals And Companionship
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This weekend on my annual golfing expedition (appropriately named Shankfest), the topic of conversation turned to the Olympics.  Being a group of eight red-blooded American males, you know we weren't talking about rhythmic gymnastics or archery.  Nah, we were talking about all of the sex those athletes must be having in the Olympic Village.


After the conversation this weekend, I remembered reading about all of the tales of Olympic debauchery that seem to come out every four years.  Of course, after a long weekend, I needed my memory refreshed a little bit.  The Scotsman had a pretty good account of different athlete's experiences at the Olympic Village.  Believe me, there are plenty of others out there, too.  I can only imagine the stories that will come out of this year's games now that some athletes are using Viagra.

 

It appears that China is preparing itself for any possible situation that may arise.  I guess they're not only going to stock the athletes with the appropriate "preparations", but they're also going to make sure all of the new visitors to their country are prepared, too.  Forget the crazy folded towels - guests will be welcomed with booze and condoms.


 


The Chinese, so concerned with the spread of disease at the games that they've been pushing safe-sex to a whole new level.  Can you imagine the 18 year-old athlete from small-town USA walking down the street upon his/her arrival in China only to find someone wearing one of the condom dresses available?


  


Forget the 18 year-old athlete - I want to see that for myself!!


After my conversations this weekend and my continued thoughts about this topic, I came to the conclusion that I finally found a way for NBC to recover the $100 million they lost on their failed Triplecast coverage of 1992.  All they have to do is set up some cameras in the Olympic Village and in the dorms.  Heck, they don't even need in-room cameras.  Just random cameras.  I'm sure they could charge a good bit for their "Athletes Gone Wild" coverage.  I figure even Conan O'Brien could revisit his "If They Mated" feature during the two-week coverage.  I could only imagine the images they come up with when the combine a Turkish weight-lifter and an Australian swimmer.


Sadly, I'm not the first one to come up with this idea.  The visionaries at FunctionalAmbivalent beat me to the punch.  They even went a step further - restore the ancient tradition of athletes competing naked.  Pure genius.

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7/2/08
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Those dresses are hot! And convenient.

 
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