Vikes Place Greg Jennings on the Physically Unable to Shut Up List
In a move many saw coming, the Minnesota Vikings today placed wide receiver Greg Jennings on the Physically Unable to Shut Up (PUS) list. In a short statement, Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier had this to say about the development concerning his team’s big off-season free agent acquisition: “Greg’s a great guy and we really think he’s gonna do some great things here this year and beyond, but he just hasn’t stopped talking since he arrived and we really need to get him some help shutting up.”
In recent weeks Jennings has seemed preoccupied, some might say obsessed, with talking ad nauseam about his former team, the Green Bay Packers. Though the root cause has yet to be determined, many trace Jennings’ non-stop jabber to his initial statements about former teammate and quarterback Aaron Rodgers, whom he oddly referred to only by number. In a nutshell, Jennings apparently feels that “#12” isn’t enough of a team player and maybe even a little pampered. After Coach Frazier spoke privately to Jennings about his “gift for gab” the chatty wideout kind of apologized to Rodgers—if you call reminding everyone that “12 is no longer MVP” and Adrian Peterson is, an apology—his loquaciousness did not end there. On Wednesday Jennings answered a question as to whether the Vikings had the makeup of a champion and he responded by saying that prior to coming to Minnesota he was brainwashed by Green Bay into thinking that they were the best team in the world and that the Earth is flat and that if he were to try to leave the Packers he would fall off the edge of the Earth… or something to that effect.
There’s no telling how long Jennings will spend on the Physically Unable to Shut Up list. Many within the organization remain baffled, including head trainer Eric Sugarman who said, “At first we thought it was a simple case of verbal diarrhea and thought we could treat it with a special mouth guard and some rehydration drips, but it’s something much more acute.” Whatever the case, Jennings won’t be the first receiver paying a visit to the PUS list this camp. Earlier this month the Eagles’ Riley Cooper paid an emergency visit and has since returned to his team. It’s also been reported that the Denver Broncos are keeping close tabs on new slot receiver Wes Welker. Stay tuned.