Boo Who?: Halloween Costume Ideas for Sports Fans
Hey kids, Halloween is only a week from today. How did that happen? It seems like only yesterday we were all half-heartedly watching the London Summer Olympics and Mets fans were still wondering whether they'd be buyers or sellers at the trading deadline. Yet, here we are. For those of you still scrambling for a costume idea to wear to that party or who just generally want to walk around making public spectacles of yourselves, here are some last second sports-related costume ideas.
98 lb. Weakling A-Rod. Nothing's easier than playing the deflated 2012 version of Alex Rodriguez. Simply buy a jersey two sizes too big, find a bench to sit on, and be sure to bring a pen and plenty of baseballs to get those digits off the ladies.
Evil Gary Bettman. Just find yourself a nice pressed suit, place an NHL logo over the breast pocket, and don a pair of devil horns. Voila!, you're the Commish. A word of warning though, be on the lookout for guys dressed as hockey players who may be looking to knock your teeth down your throat.
Tiger Woods. Black baseball cap, red Nike golf shirt, black pants, putter. To complete the effect, spend most of the evening cursing a blue streak, muttering things about Rory McIlroy, and occasionally limping.
Takes a Little More Effort
Preening Cam Newton. For this one, you need a Panthers Jersey you can tear open to reveal a Superman shirt underneath. But, and this is the most important element, you also need to mount a fake scoreboard behind your shoulders showing the Panthers down 30-3, as you go into your td celebration routine.
Bobby Valentine. This costume can go any number of ways. The easiest approach is a Red Sox jersey, resume in hand, with a bunch of knives sticking out of your back. A much more difficult execution would be housing Bobby V. inside a cardboard bus with coaches and players underneath. As an added accessory you can always go for the fake mustache and shades Bobby made famous during his days with the Mets.
Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings. The real effort here involves finding a friend who won't mind braving the October night air with you dressed in skimpy beach volleyball attire. Once at the party, you know the drill, plenty of high-fiving, behind the back signals, and hugging... lots of hugging. You'll be a hit, trust me.
Ex-NFL Player Dealing with Post-Concussion Syndrome. Unfortunately, there are too many names to choose from here. Just find the player and jersey that's right for you and spend most of the evening walking around disoriented, which is made a lot easier with increased alcohol intake.
Jerry Sandusky. There's nothing scarier on Halloween than dressing up as a real-life monster. We're not going to make too many suggestions here, as almost everyone knows all the creepy details. Surrounding yourself with a stand-up shower head and curtain is one way to go. Another is getting a buddy to dye his hair red and act as scared-stupid assistant coach Mike McQueary.
So there's just a handful of potential costume ideas. There are plenty of others out there for the taking. Feel free to chime in with a few of your own.