Please sign in to complete your action
 
DONE!
Cheer and debate with
6,000,000+ fans!
My Team:
Charlotte
My Team:
Michael
My Team:
Britney
2/28/08
High School Hockey Is Hilarious, Filled With Sexual Innuendos
READ MORE:
I'll have to be honest. I never found high school to be much fun. If I could erase it from my memory, I would. But there was one redeeming thing about it: It was chock-full of juvenile humor. And this story has that in spades.

It seems that a high school boys hockey team is in serious trouble after sexually hilarious offensive material was printed in the team’s program - and wasn't noticed by jackass concerned adults for two full games. Naturally the parents, and the school, went nuts when they finally figured out what was going on and screamed to the coach about it. By which I mean they fired him immediately, despite the fact that there's no indication that he let it happen.

The magazine-style program contained a picture and short biography of each player, including his future plans, the majority of which were sexually suggestive.
So what did the profiles say? Here we go.

One player's write-up said he “could be coming into your mouth sooner than you think as he seeks a profession in dental hygenics (sic) in the near future.” Well played, except for the spelling error.

Another player enjoys “some meat between his buns” and is "feverishly working on his own secret sauce."

Another’s said he likes hunting and fishing and warns women that he shares his bed with a huge weapon.


Another bio said a team member would "drop his pants for a quick buck." That one is a little less subtle, but I like the effort.

The weirdest one was from a
player who called himself a longtime fan of the Neverland ranch and was never one to "back away" from the boys.

There was also a player
who said he wanted to become a motivational speaker for the hearing impaired. See, now that last one is just offensive. And by "offensive" I mean "totally awesome."

What may be the best part about the story though is that some students didn't even have a problem with the language used in the program.

Those damn sexed-up Canadian youth. Everyone knows they're nothing but trouble. Sexy trouble.
2 comments
Vote!
Comment!
Your votes determine top comment
Top comment earns 300 Points!
494 days ago
2
VOTE:
 
+0
 
+2
 
+0
 
-0
Who coaches that team?  Andrew Dice Clay?
 
494 days ago
1
VOTE:
 
+0
 
+1
 
+0
 
-0
tpowell25 wrote:
Who coaches that team?  Andrew Dice Clay?

Coach Phil McCracken and assistant coach Richard Butt were not pleased.

 
 
Preview
HOTTEST ARTICLES
JUNIOR HOCKEY GEAR
Loading...
MEET OUR FANS
Jodhvir
Tonique
 more
12,798,192+
ANSWER TODAY'S POLL
 more
PLAY NEVER-ENDING TRIVIA
Cork
Foam
Plastic
Rubber
 more

TAKE A QUIZ
 more

PREDICT THE SCORE
NFL
NBA
NHL
NCAABB
Soccer
 more
2,555,658+
joined the Cricket league Fans of India.
Just now!
joined the Cricket league CricketFans.
Just now!
Just now!
Just now!
jayanandmantri gave a thumbs up (5/5) to the trivia question who has scored the highest number of centuries in tests?.
Just now!
PJ123 gave a thumbs up (5/5) to the trivia question Which competitor nicknamed Darrell Waltrip, "Jaws"?.
Just now!
bangsiddharth joined the Cricket league CricketFans.
Just now!
puntsagaa_h joined the NBA league HornetsFans.
Just now!
puntsagaa_h joined the NBA league NBA Fantasy.
Just now!
Just now!
 

Join Today
About FanIQ
Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Contact Us
Report A Bug
Help