April 6Th, 2006....
What a rough day for me. I had so many thoughts going through my head it almost spun right off my head!!
On that day, I knew It would be the day to change my life forever in so many ways. One year ago today I stopped using drugs. I never did anything major, just smoked enough pot to make Cheech and Chong look like armatures..
I started dating a pothead in 2000, and could count on one hand how many times I'd tried and didn't like the stuff. As time went on, things really got rough for me. I lived with a man who was controlling, jealous, and mean. I picked up the pipe/bong and smoked my version of xanax to deal with him. For those of you thinking why didn't you just leave, you've obviously never lived or dated a man like him. It's so much easier to be the outside person looking in and think things are more normal than what they seem. I'm good at hiding things such as emotions etc...yeah; me of all people, funny hu?
I never touched the stuff when he wasn't around, but when he was....it was nothing to sit and smoke an 1/8Th to forget about his b.s. and deal with him. Funny thing is, when I moved out and started going through my stuff...I found enough of it stashed to have a pretty good sized get together and make all my smoking friends happy. I took it all and gracefully through it out, as I didn't need it any more. I quit cold turkey, with a decision I wasn't ever going to let anything or anyone control me again...and it hasn't!!
Well, I can look back at my accomplishments today and be proud. My head and mind is clear, I like who I am...I've put on almost 40 pounds, I have a great job, my kids aren't afraid for the first time in a long time. I have my friends back and can talk to them when they call me, text me, IM me, email me, etc. I can go out, hang out, smile, laugh and have fun. I can joke with my guy friends, talk sports, watch sports and wear my sports stuff proudly ( Even if my Detroit Lions, don't win, I still Love them)!!
I don't cry anymore, I'm not afraid anymore, and life is truly good! I don't make excuses with my family or friends and can enjoy them and they can rest assured they have their old "Ang" back!!
This might not be a big deal to you, however to me, it's huge. So, if you're reading this, and secretly you're into something you don't want to be in, know I'm living proof you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to do!! It might take a while to get through it, or over it, but know it's totally worth it if that's what you set your intentions to do =)
So, those of you on the Q who have gotten to know me in the last year, THANK YOU!! You've all helped me through so much in more ways than you know. You've laughed with me, cried with me; and a handful of you have become true friends outside this site...I've learned again, the true meaning of TRUE friends and I Love ya for it!!
This isn't the best of the best, but I'm including a before photo so you can see the transformation I went through physically. This was taken about 3 months prior to the "Cracker always Cheers for the home team" photo I first posted when I joined.
So, with the relationship happiness and the sitting down at the new job, I truly hope a year from now my photo fits on the page, LOL!!
*This is the newest installment y'all have asked for, I waited for today to come to post it**