As we all know tomorrow is game one of the NBA finals between the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers. But wait, can that be right? Just the first game? I feel like the series should be over by now. Oh right, I've been watching the old Celtics/Lakers games on ESPN Classic, the ones with Bird, Magic, DJ, Kareem, et. al.

If there's one thing I'm passionate about it is ESPN Classic. I love reliving the past and especially love to watch the teams and players of my youth and wonder where exactly the last twenty years have gone. Despite my passion for the past I was prepared to disparage the play of the players in short shorts. I subscribe to the tenets of Darwinism and believe that man can evolve in as little as twenty years. I expected, after a few minutes, to praise anew the power and speed and strength of today's NBA and concede the inferiority of yesterday's star.

But happily, my expectations were not met. Yes, the short shorts are ridiculous and yes, the bodies are more willowy. But neither is a bad thing. The players look more like basketball players - tall and skinny with long legs. And they play more like basketball players. They shoot better, they have better offensive sets, they get back better on defense. Most important, however, they seem less intimidating, less brutish and for a while I could not understand why. They played hard, they fouled hard, they taunted, they even brawled. Then it hit me. It was the shorts. The absurdity of the uniform gave them a certain vulnerability, a certain charm, a certain hilarity which made them less distant, more human. Sure they might fight with each on the court but they would never, Artest-like, venture into the stands. Nor would a fan instigate a fight with a man in short shorts; it would be like shooting a guy in the back, unseemly and cowardly.

So David Stern - heed my advice. For a friendlier and less thuggish league go retro.  Don't make them stop smoking dope, just make them wear short shorts.