Jamie Moyer Should Hang'em Up

No Moyer!

5/31/12 in MLB   |   This_is_Rick   |   265 respect

The next ten days will play out like any for a pitcher that doesn't have the "stuff" anymore. Following their release it will be an old west stare down with their cell phone. Ring, Ring? Someone, anyone, any team out there? Chances are the obvious truth has already set in; This game retires you. No gold watch, funny cake or surprise party, baseball does not dabble in the business of event coordinator, for most, the story ends with out a word spoken. The reality of it doesn't set in until you punch the clock wearing a uniform with no number on it. It's a harsh ending that never involves the sexual fling with Susan Sarandon, like the movie depicts. 

Jamie Moyer has done his absolute best to 180 from this inevitable outcome, but, like it or not, this story is over. Regardless of what the analysts try to predict or what teams may be out there, in need of pitchers or in need of attendance, Moyer is not the guy. Armed with a fastball that equals the top speed of a Ford Escort and breaking pitches that take forever to actually "break" Moyer's scenery change would just delay what is already in plain sight, the end. 
May 27, 2012; Cincinnati, OH, USA; Colorado Rockies starting pitcher Jamie Moyer (50) pitches during the second inning against the Cincinnati Reds at Great American Ball Park. Mandatory Credit: Frank Victores-US PRESSWIRE

Still, with all that put in writing, there for the understanding and repeat, Jamie Moyer will wind up, on and for, another team. With each dismal start he will rack up more obscure records that will end up on a revival of "Stump The Schwab," on ESPN. Perhaps someone will hit a home-run off Moyer without even using a bat the next time. When you are chucking at 77 m.p.h anything is possible - for the hitter.  

The Angels, Phillies, Mariners and even San Diego may be the first to put an Ensure dispenser in their clubhouse. With "aces down" in Anaheim and Philadelphia, the idea of bringing Moyer to the mixer may provide some sort of adult wisdom that ball clubs have fooled themselves into thinking actually helps. Garrett Richards is young and unreliable to this point for the Angels, and every Ebbie Calvin type needs their Crash Davis to show them how to put the garter belt on correctly. This, and the west-cost residence of Moyer, may put the Angels closer to "thinking about it" than you might think. 
May 18, 2012; San Diego, CA, USA; Los Angeles Angels manager Mike Scioscia (14) writes on a line up card during the fifth inning against the San Diego Padres at PETCO Park. Mandatory Credit: Jake Roth-US PRESSWIRE

San Diego and Seattle would be simply honorarium's, not serious positions that will require a long-toss program, immediately. Moyer lives in the San Diego area, and as we have seen before, the Padres do not have a problem signing old pitchers (See Trevor Hoffman) for sentimental reasons. Besides, even though it is June, San Diego needs a draw - Anchorman 2 filming has fans preoccupied, and the team is no bueno.

Seattle would be the same sentimental-living-statue of what once was. The Mariners can use some baseball knowledge in their rotation and clubhouse, but if it comes with the home-runs, too, it is better to pass. - They call bad pitching mistakes in Seattle "Bedard's." 
May 3, 2011, Seattle, WA, USA; Seattle Mariners manager Eric Wedge (right) shakes hands with pitcher Erik Bedard (45) after the top of the seventh inning against the Texas Rangers at Safeco Field. Mandatory Credit: Joe Nicholson-US PRESSWIRE

At the end of this circus, when the elephants are out of breath and the kids want their grandparents to take them home, Jamie Moyer should not try to be different from the rest. It was an amazing career, and definitely one of perseverance. Hanging up the cleats would be honorable, not shameful. Give the wing a rest and begin the next chapters of the story - Foundations, on-camera talent, whatever you wish.

 Besides, Susan Sarandon got old, anyhow!!
Blog Photo - Jamie Moyer Should Hang'em Up


Notify me by email about comments that follow mine. Preview

6/1/12   |   derms33   |   17653 respect

Old Age is no joke...even when you top out on a fastball at 81, you really have no place in the majors