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Jason Giambi Uses A Thong As A Slump Buster
13
comments
God Is This Ever Gross
by 100%InjuryRate
>7 days ago

I think Bill Simmons once wrote that he thought the stupidest athletes out there were in baseball. And you know what, I think he's right.

That's because today, in New York, Jason Giambi for some reason let reporters know that he wears a gold lamé, tiger-stripe thong under his uniform when he wants to break out of a slump.

See, no intelligent person would ever admit that, EVER. And it's all over the press in New York. Condé Nast Portfolio Magazine, of all publications, wrote the original story.
"I only put it on when I'm desperate to get out of a big slump," he confides.

Over Giambi's checkered career in the Bronx, he has left the "golden thong" in the lockers of slumping teammates Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Johnny Damon, Robin Ventura, and Robinson Cano. "All of them wore it and got hits," he reports. "The thong works every time."

Man, that has to be one diseased riddled thong. I'm sure if you get within 10-feet of that thing you'll get an STD.

Obviously the joke sitting out there is that this thong must be getting a lot of wear in the Yankees clubhouse. I sure hope not, and their hitting suggests it isn't making the rounds.

By the way, Mark Grace once  said on Jim Rome's show that the way to get out of a slump was to find an ugly (and preferably fat) woman, sleep with her, toss her aside and, voilà, the slump is over.

So I have to choose between a thong and an ugly woman? You know what, if I were a major league player I think I'd just keep hitting ground balls to second.


[HT: Deadspin]
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65 days ago
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Jess wrote:
You know every woman who's ever slept with Mark Grace is trying to remember whether or not he was in a slump when they slept with him.
Including both his ex-wives
 
65 days ago
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Approves.
 
65 days ago
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You know every woman who's ever slept with Mark Grace is trying to remember whether or not he was in a slump when they slept with him.
 
65 days ago
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Jess wrote:
You know every woman who's ever slept with Mark Grace is trying to remember whether or not he was in a slump when they slept with him.
Including both his ex-wives
 
65 days ago
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ohhh...that's what he meant by the slump-buster comment.  I thought he meant something else...but, then again, I am stupid.
 
65 days ago
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As I have said before the guys playing Major League Baseball will never be confused with the Immanuel Kant or Voltaire.

 
65 days ago
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There are certain things that we, as fans, never need to know. This is one of them.
 
65 days ago
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Why does Giambi look like a Jerry's kid in this picture?
 
65 days ago
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This is all over the news in New York? Funny this is the first time I'm hearing about it. Who cares what his superstitions are? Seriously. Ok its weird, but not really a big deal.
 
65 days ago
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Does the thong fit after the Steroids? 
 
65 days ago
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Also I would never wear anything that touched Jeter's genitalia
 
65 days ago
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derms33 wrote:
Does the thong fit after the Steroids? 
Steroids make your penis bigger and your testicles smaller so it probably balances out.
 
65 days ago
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RenegadeLG wrote:
Steroids make your penis bigger and your testicles smaller so it probably balances out.
thank god I have no use for Roids
 
65 days ago
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(Edited 05/16/08 5:48PM by RenegadeLG)
derms33 wrote:
thank god I have no use for Roids
I do. I have balls that make bulls envious. I need to shrink them so I can walk comfortably.
 
 
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