The Combined ERA Of NL Central Closers Will Probably Drop Considerably Because Of This

It hasn't exactly been the best year so far for NL Central closers. Just 4 days ago it was determined that Kerry Wood is the best closer in the division, which is sort of like saying Jumper was the best movie to come out in the sucktastic movie month of February.

But that will hopefully change soon. That's because Jason Isringhausen, who recently said "I'm pitching like a 2nd grader," is going on the DL. But how he got there is even better.

Isringhausen apparently smacked a TV in manager Tony LaRussa's office last Friday opening up a gash on his throwing hand. It's since festered and become infected, probably from Isringhausen's suckiness. That's bad news for Isringhausen, but great news for anyone who values decent pitching. Word is the Cardinals are bringing in a 5th grader to replace their closer.

But at least Isringhausen didn't break his pitching hand. Royals pitcher John Bale recently broke his throwing hand punching a hotel door.

Bale didn't give an explanation for why he punched the door, but I'd have to assume it's because he plays for the Royals.