Jets rejoice after not being investigated for murder
NFL

Jets Nation rejoices after not being investigated for murder

6/19/13 in NFL   |   GFortier   |   520 respect

Blog Photo - Jets rejoice after not being investigated for murder
 
The following article, despite being based loosely on non-fiction and bearing a polar resemblance to fact, is truer than you will ever know. Quotes made in this article are conjured out of pure inspiration, while the opinions expressed here are derived from what is both authentic and just.

Jets Nation was especially cheery today after learning that an NFL player was being investigated for murder and it wasn't even a Jet.

"This is big for us," said long-time Jets fan Sal Longjew, a Long Island native who claims to remember that one year a long time ago when Al Groh coached the team. "To not only not have one of our guys investigated for murder, but for it to be one of the Patriots we can't guard? I feel like I'm dreaming."

After being questioned yesterday about his possible connection to a homicide, Aaron Hernandez is facing more scrutiny as another man has come forward to complain that the Patriots tight end shot him in the face (a complaint many don't find themselves in a position to make). 

Since the Jets fell to the Steelers in the 2010 AFC Championship game, nothing has gone right for the team that's come to be associated with everything that's wrong as the organization couldn't seem to get even the simplest moves right. Sometimes, however, it's the moves you don't make that make the difference.

"We feel like we've been given a second chance," said Rex Ryan, so energized by the lack of murder investigations surrounding the team that he couldn't help from ironing all of his sweater vests right then and there. "All we have to do now is maintain our focus, play football and not murder anybody and I think this could be a turning point for our franchise." 

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6/19/13   |   Wards_Page   |   248 respect

They cleared Mark Sanchez without even questioning him. He couldn't hit a wide open Refrigerator Perry with a beach ball let alone some normal human with a tiny bullet.

6/19/13   |   MortonsLaw   |   156 respect

Rex Ryan would actually tell us how much better he could murder someone than anyone else.