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4/28/08
Karl Malone Is Your Current Leader For Father Of The Year
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For those of you who have followed me here and at my old blog, then you know I've made it my life's mission to determine how many illegitimate kids every pro athlete has. Definitely a noble task.

But the more interesting thing is, when will the illegitimate kids of athletes begin to become pro athletes themselves? Luckily, we're already starting to see that happen.

Thanks to my good friends at Deuce of Davenport, I learned that Karl Malone, who was one of my least favorite players ever, just had one of his multiple illegitimate kids drafted during the NFL Draft this weekend. The kid's name is Demetrius Bell. He went to Northwestern State University, plays offensive line, and was the 219th overall pick.

By the way, if for some reason you don't consider Karl Malone an asshole, then this next tidbit should help seal the deal. Bell first attempted to reach out to his father at age 18, but didn't have much luck.
Malone told Bell that, "It was too late for him to be his father and that Bell would 'earn his money on his own,'" the NFL notes said.
Now there's a man who clearly cares for his children - by which I mean his legitimate children. Karl Malone has no time for his illegitimate kids.

And if you think that's the end of this sordid tale, you're wrong. Malone also fathered - and I'm using that term loosely - WNBA star Cheryl Ford. Malone didn't start talking to her until she was in college. Luckily she quickly started getting a check by the playing in the WNBA, so Malone didn't have to tell her to go out and earn money on her own.

Anyway, I wish both Bell and Ford the best, and obviously hope they don't in any way shape or form follow the same path their father did.

As for Malone, I wish he'd get a vasectomy.

Also, I can't wait until we start seeing Shawn Kemp's kids start to pop up. I mean after all, he had 7 kids, at least one has to become a pro in some sport.

[Karl Malone: Father Of The Year - Deuce of Davenport]
5 comments
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4/28/08
2

Well it looks like they are not going to be going squirrel hunting anytime soon.


4/28/08
3
Also, I can't wait until we start seeing Shawn Kemp's kids start to pop up. I mean after all, he had 7 kids, at least one has to become a pro in some sport.

If they're anything like him, my bet would be on competitive eating.

4/28/08
0
Your unasked question here:  If the Mailman did not support those illegitimate kids growing up, who did?  Anybody want to bet that it was us taxpayers???  I am less certain about Shawn Kemp's kids from his harem of ho's making the pros though.  Nowadays, you got to go to college at least for a year to get into the pros and Shawn and any woman stupid enough to sleep with him seem highly unlikely to produce any viable collegiate material from their combined DNA.

4/28/08
0

how about this idea for a reality show....Karl's illegitimate kids vs. Kemp's....fighting it out to see who are more talented.   Trivia questions about the Mailman & the Rainmain...pick your daddy out of these pictures......whose Dad earned more $ in their career....hosted by Marv Albert.

 

You could call it "Who's Your Daddy?"

 

I think I'm gonna PQ myself on this one.


 
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