Bears' Briggs Latest Dumbass Athlete To Hate Condoms

Pro athletes and out of wedlock kids. Those two things go together better than milk and cookies. The latest offender to go all Shawn Kemp on us is the Bears' Lance Briggs, who seems to be doing everything humanly possible to wreck the team's season before it even starts.

Briggs ex-girlfriend was in court yesterday in Chicago trying to get more support for their daughter. Briggs wasn't there, and was instead in Arizona with the mother of another daughter. OK, so let's keep track of this, that's two out of wedlock kids so far. But there's more!

A third woman, who is due this summer, was ALSO in the same Chicago court yesterday as Briggs' original ex-girlfriend. That may be a record. Two women in the same court, at the same time, complaining about how you got them pregnant. I don't even think that happened to Shawn Kemp. So that's now three out of wedlock kids for Briggs - with child support for one and a paternity suit for the other.

Maybe that's why Briggs is so pissed about the $36 million deal he voluntarily signed with the Bears. I mean, he needs more money if he's going to have to keep paying these women off.

It's also somewhat comical that Briggs partner in crime at linebacker, Brian Urlacher, has also gone through a similar predicament, although with not nearly as many out wedlock kids. Pick it up Urlacher!

Anyway, even though Briggs is doing all he can to bring the team down, it's not like he's the only problem going on for the Bears. As you know, Cedric Benson got roughed up by cops down in Texas, the Bears still have no QB, Urlacher is also pissed about his contract in addition to having a back injury, and the team's key offseason acquisition was Marty Booker.

Man, should be a great 2008 season for the Bears.


[HT: Fanhouse and Lance Briggs for being an idiot]