Houston Astros (33-53 6th NL Central): These Astros aren't quite as inept as last year's mess, but the 50th anniversary season is anything but happy. They're riding a streak of 1-9 into the break, and just got swept in Pittsburgh by the Pirates in a 4-game series. That hasn't happened in 33 years. This team is still going to lose over 90 games again, and they should enjoy their time in the NL this year, because next year it's going to get a hell of a lot worse having to play the Rangers at least 15 times. Yes, Houston, we still have a BIG problem...FEH!
Kansas City Royals (37-47 4th AL Central): The good news is they're not the worst team in their division at the break. The bad news is they're still 10 games under .500 and have the fewest home wins in all of baseball. No words can describe how inept this team is except a very emphatic...FEH!
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (48-38 2nd AL West): This team started off pretty mediocre, but they've caught fire. Pujols has adjusted nicely to playing a couple blocks away from Disneyland, and Mike Trout is the runaway AL ROTY candidate at this point. It looks like it's a 2-horse race again in the AL West, and the Halos are within striking distance of the Rangers...MM-HAH!
Los Angeles Dodgers (47-40 1st NL West): The 50th anniversary of Dodgers Stadium IS a happy one. Despite Matt Kemp's absence, this team is still leading the division, and he's supposed to be back after the break. That could spell trouble for the rest of the NL West. Clayton Kershaw is doing his thing, and that pitching staff has been quite impressive. Ethier's injury hurts, but Kemp will be back. Just a note to Matt Kemp...this is why you DON'T make guarantees before the season starts. Even so, this team still gets a seal of approval...MM-HAH!
Miami Marlins (41-44 4th NL East): They got a new name, new colors, a new stadium with an atrocious aquatic monstrosity in the outfield, the manager and pitcher with the shortest fuse in all of baseball, and they've been up and down like a roller coaster all year. They win a few, they lose a few. Still, this team appears to be a .500 team at best this year, and losing Giancarlo Stanton will only make matters worse. The attendance still stinks, Heath Bell has become a disgrace, and Hanley Ramirez is still an idiot. I'm being nice with this rating...EHH.
Milwaukee Brewers (40-45 4th NL Central): Zack Grienke is on the trading block, Prince Fielder is gone, Jonathan Lucroy has spent time on the DL, and Ryan Braun can't be a one-man show. The Brew-crew will not successfully defend their division title this year. This team is quite different without Prince, and John Axford has been as off the wall as Jose Valverde. I'm sure expectations were high, but this team isn't going anywhere in 2012...EHH.
Minnesota Twins (36-49 5th AL Central): Matt Capps stinks, Joe Mauer hasn't been hitting the long ball, and this team, while they started to win some as of late, still has a lot of holes. The Twins aren't making it this year. Maybe they're still not used to playing all 162 games outdoors nowadays. Just how bad are they? They have the absolute worst run differential in baseball, -87, YIKES! Umm...FEH!
New York Mets (46-40 3rd NL East): The Mets are a pleasant surprise. R.A. Dickey has become a superstar after all these years. David Wright is healthy and is playing like everybody knows he can. This team has impressed, and they even got a no-no that perhaps shouldn't have been a no-no. They also have the most 2-out RBIs in all of baseball, and it's not even close. Watch out for the Mets, this team will be looking to add a couple pieces at the deadline...MM-HAH!
New York Yankees (52-33 1st AL East): Ho-hum, the Yanks lead the division. Ho-hum, they have the best record in baseball. The bullpen has kept leads too, even without the great Mariano in to close. If this team adds anybody, it's going to be scary. Just think how tough they'll be if they start driving in runs WITHOUT the long ball...MM-HAH!
Oakland Athletics (43-43 3rd AL West): They're right on the fence, .500 at the break. This team wins a few, then loses a few. They seem like a team that is just that, mediocre. They're not going to make any noise in the second half, but could somehow end up squeaking out a winning record at the end of the year...EHH.
We'll be right back on page 3 for the final 10 teams after these messages and a word from your local station!