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Maple Bats Flying Into The Stands Are Bad
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Maple Bats Are The Tools Of The Devil
by 100%InjuryRate
>7 days ago

As some of you may know, Major League Baseball is suddenly all bent out of shape about maple bats flying into the stands. I mean, yes, it's a concern. And, in all honesty, baseball probably should do something about it.

But how is the media reacting to rogue bats? Well, I'll tell you what they're doing. They're putting up hilarious photos of people about to be nailed by bats. Way to be media. Twist a serious story into black humor. And I thought that was my job.

So anyway, here are some admittedly hilarious photos of bats flying into the stands from the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, courtesy of SPORTSbyBROOKS, and one classic gem from SI.




I like the guy in the Twins cap who's screaming for his life, even though the bat is coming nowhere close to hitting him.



These guys actually aren't worried about getting hit at all. They just want a souvenir.




This photo made me laugh out loud as soon as I saw it. Great effort by the fan here. However, from my experience, it's tough to catch a bat with a glove.




More solid effort by a fan here. Bonus points because it appears he's smiling and rocking a headband under the hat. Now, had this guy had a glove, he might have actually snagged this bat. Or maybe not.




And lastly, this photo from Sports Illustrated. Ouch. By the way, look at the effort by the baby. I think the baby was actually trying to catch the bat. Good hustle, kid.

Anyway, be careful out there folks. Somewhere there's a maple bat out there with your name on it.
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51 days ago
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Oh wait. It's coming nowhere near me.
 
51 days ago
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I guess it is the simple things in life that make us smile...
 
51 days ago
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Mable bats = Ford Pintos.
 
51 days ago
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Oh wait. It's coming nowhere near me.
 
51 days ago
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Is it just me, or do these not look like broken bats? Is there something about maple bats that make players want to fling them into the stands, whether they're broken or not?
 
51 days ago
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Pat wrote:
Is it just me, or do these not look like broken bats? Is there something about maple bats that make players want to fling them into the stands, whether they're broken or not?
yeah i was thinking the same thing when i wrote this post. I have no idea. Maybe maple bats are slipperier (is that even a word?).
 
51 days ago
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Love the comment about the 'kid' making an effort in that last pic !!

 

Notice the guy in 'Row 2', in the Jimmy Buffet style shirt, ducking so that his mom (?) behind him has to fend for herself there !!

 

 
51 days ago
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100%InjuryRate wrote:


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Oh wait. It's coming nowhere near me.
I think that's just a Twins fan at US Cellular Field surround by female Sox fans with mustaches.
 
51 days ago
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Here's what I love most about the last pic. All these "adults" are dodging the bat. This little girl is trying to catch it. Bad.Ass.

Hell.
 
51 days ago
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(Edited 07/17/08 4:00PM by danny_n94)
CriticalFanatic wrote:


Here's what I love most about the last pic. All these "adults" are dodging the bat. This little girl is trying to catch it. Bad.Ass.

Hell.
CriticalFanatic wrote:


Here's what I love most about the last pic. All these "adults" are dodging the bat. This little girl is trying to catch it. Bad.Ass.

Hell.
At least nobody pulled a George Constanza and ran over the little girl trying to get to safety
 
51 days ago
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Keeter wrote:

Love the comment about the 'kid' making an effort in that last pic !!

 

Notice the guy in 'Row 2', in the Jimmy Buffet style shirt, ducking so that his mom (?) behind him has to fend for herself there !!

 

He's doing what it takes to "Treat Her Like a Lady"
 
51 days ago
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I laughed so hard at that last one... I don't mean to be mean spirited, but the baby girl is giving a better effort than her dad who is trying to crouch out of the way. The poor little boy in the upper left hand is crying his eyes out and it's really not that close to him. And the guy who is in lower right that has his back completelu turned evidently has the best reaction time, because instead of trying to catch the bat, he was already turning to look and see which old helpless man it was going to chin-check. PRICELESS!!!
 
51 days ago
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danny_n94 wrote:
CriticalFanatic wrote:


Here's what I love most about the last pic. All these "adults" are dodging the bat. This little girl is trying to catch it. Bad.Ass.

Hell.
At least nobody pulled a George Constanza and ran over the little girl trying to get to safety
Although, that's a very weak effort by dad to protect his baby girl.  Looks like he's ducking behind and turning his little princess into a human shield.  Something a Dodgers fan might do... very LA.
 
51 days ago
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Pat wrote:
Is it just me, or do these not look like broken bats? Is there something about maple bats that make players want to fling them into the stands, whether they're broken or not?
I guess pine tar and maple go together like Red Sox and Yankees fans...
 
51 days ago
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danny_n94 wrote:
CriticalFanatic wrote:


Here's what I love most about the last pic. All these "adults" are dodging the bat. This little girl is trying to catch it. Bad.Ass.

Hell.
At least nobody pulled a George Constanza and ran over the little girl trying to get to safety
The ironic thing about this photo is it is at a Rangers game... And in reply to your comment, do you remember a couple of seasons ago when a man in the stands of a Rangers game got mega-booed and broadcasted all over sports television for knocking over the little kid diving for a foul ball and not even giving the ball to the kid? Just a thought.
 
 
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