Mariners Offense Given Rest of the Week Off
After pasting the Texas Rangers to the tune of 21-8 Wednesday night, the long-beleaguered Seattle Mariners offense was given the rest of the week off by manager Eric Wedge. In a press conference this morning Wedge said, "Hey, they earned it. I mean, c'mon, 21 runs? That's more than we scored the final two months of last season. My guys really laid in on the Rangers the other night, and then some. If they keep going like that, I worry that they'll have nothing left in the tank leading up to our all-important interleague series grudge match against the Padres."
Upon hearing the news, Seattle's clubhouse erupted. "Awesome! This means we don't have to fly to Chicago! I can just head out to California and hit the beach before the Angels series!," said clearly-stoked first baseman Justin Smoak, who hit two three-run homers in Wednesday's blowout. "Cool," added 24-year-old third baseman Kyle Seager. "I think I'm just gonna hang out around the Dallas/Ft. Worth area for a couple of days and check out some chicks. Hey, I went four for six and scored four runs. Maybe someone will recognize me." Chone Figgins who went one for five in the game and is hitting.182 on the season asked, "Do I get those days off too?" Meanwhile DH Jesus Montero, who clubbed his seventh home run in the game, marked the occasion by crank calling his former boss Brian Cashman and asking him whether the Yankees were interested in trading Russell Martin, before giggling and hanging up.
So the Mariners head into their three-game series with the White Sox tonight with absolutely no offense to speak of. Said tonight's starter Felix Hernandez, "And this is different how?"