Thanks to the buzz killing week long break of NBA action, we've been hearing ad nauseam about how the Lakers will try to defend Kevin Garnett and whether Boston can really contain Kobe Bryant.

Boring.

What you really want to know is how the Lakers Girls match up with the Celtics Dancers. Believe me, it's not the blowout you'd think.

Let's break it down:

POINT GUARD - PETITE AND SMOOTH

 

Annika vs Chantal
As contrasting as the styles of play from West to East. Annika is built for speed, Chantal clearly for comfort. Pick your poison. I prefer the uptempo style of basketball, but we're talking cheerleaders here and Chantal is the one I want leading the team. ADV - CELTICS

SHOOTING GUARD - SCORES EARLY, OFTEN

 

T vs A
The never ending debate where no one loses. ADV - PUSH

SMALL FORWARD - CLASSIC BLOND

 

Whitney vs Alison
Since you pretty much know what you're getting here on the outside, let's take a look on the inside (humor me). Whitney is a graduate of UCLA with a major in World Arts & Culture. Very nice. Alison says her proudest moment was performing overseas for the troops. Respectable. Dealbreaker - Whitney loves to cook, Alison loves to eat southwestern egg rolls. ADV - LAKERS

POWER FORWARD - GOOD IN THE POST

  

Jenna vs Jennafa
The Celtics have an unfair advantage of throwing in an extra fa, but we're convinced Jenna would be more fun to battle in the paint. I do quite enjoy the Celtics uniform/dress, however. Small victory here. ADV- LAKERS

CENTER - TALL AND STRONG
 


Beck's Girl vs Courtney
We're not entirely sure about the identity of the Lakers Girl but numerous photos convince us she rises above the rest. Plus, Beckham was impressed which is good enough for us. Courtney is tall, we'll give her that but this isn't exactly Wilt vs Russell here. ADV - LAKERS

*By the way, if you're wondering if Jennafa and Courtney are the same girl, they're not. They just both wear number 5.

INTANGIBLES
 


They're the Lakers Girls, come on. Were we really going to pick against them? There's not a more authentic professional sports cheerleading squad. Plus, one allegedly managed to hop in bed with Kobe Bryant. Not that it's all that difficult, but since she sacrificed her spot on the sideline for the sake of distraction on the court, we applaud Vanessa Curry's effort. ADV - LAKERS

CONCLUSION

Celtics put up an admirable fight, but the Lakers dynasty wins again. Too much experience, and too well rounded to lose to anyone, really.

See if you get this kind of analysis from those ESPN talking heads.