I was going to keep my playoff predictions to myself because Will Perdue says I can't have an opinion. Instead I should go along with whatever the ESPN talking heads have to say. But you know what, F-Will Perdue. Plus my landlord mom and Mike Greenberg said it's OK for me to express myself.

Does the Eastern Conference have to wait up for the West to be won? I have a feeling we'll be watching a lot of quick sweeps in the East while the ridiculous Western Conference slugs it out in numerous 7 game series.

Here's how the East will be won (promises to be less entertaining than Man vs Coin):

First Round
1 Boston Celtics vs 8 Atlanta Hawks 37-45 makes the playoffs in the East now? That's terribly sad, but I'm happy for the several Hawks fans in Atlanta that have stuck around to be able to watch their young talent gain some playoff experience. They have no chance, but Josh Smith, Joe Johnson and Al Horford should at least keep the games interesting. The key for Boston is to make sure to take care of business and rest up for what will likely be an opponent who's just come off a 6-7 game series. Celtics in 4.

2 Detroit Pistons vs 7 Philadelphia 76ers This shouldn't last any longer than the Celtics series, but I give the scrappy 76ers a shot at winning at least one game for fear of a mass booing from fans who still believe Philly should win this. 'Stons in 5.
 
3 Orlando Magic vs 6 Toronto Raptors Time to find out how interesting Dwight Howard is in being great or whether he'll settle for just being a talented guy on a team that wins just enough to excuse him from too much criticism. The Raptors are turning into a popular upset pick, which isn't too surprising, but I just don't see it. Defense didn't concern themselves during the season with the Magic perimeter shooters and I suspect Hedo and Rashard will have field days with everyone concentrating on containing Howard. Magic in 6.

4 Cleveland Cavaliers vs 5 Washington Wizards I usually don't buy trash talking having too much effect on the outcome of a professional basketball game, but when it involves Lebron I do. His best games this season were a product of his interest in sticking it too an enthusiastic fan. DeShawn Stevenson calling LBJ overrated will play a factor. It shouldn't take that for Lebron to dominate the way he should in every playoff game, but that's just how he is. A finally healthy Wizards team will put up a good fight since they've shown an interest in playing defense from time to time but I still like the King to go off just enough for a long series win. Cavs in 7.

Semifinals

1 Boston Celtics vs 4 Cleveland Cavaliers Lebron tired from carrying the team in Round 1. Doesn't get it going until it's too late against. I think we'll see enough from the Cavs traded players to justify the move being worth it. It's probably time for Wally Szczerbiak to hit a few shots. Celtics in 5.

2 Detroit Pistons vs 3 Orlando Magic McDyess, Wallace and Maxiell will render Dwight Howard useless. No messing around. 'Stons in 4.

Finals

1 Boston Celtics vs 2 Detroit Pistons In order to have a chance against the West, the Eastern Conference should just agree to simulate all games and fast forward to the inevitable final. The amount of time Flip Saunders was able to give his young players during the season will come in handy. Rodney Stuckey will be a star in this league after a few more years. But I still don't think the Pistons depth advantage is enough to knock off a determined group of three All-Stars who've been committed to an NBA Finals appearance since their first practice. It's KG's time. At least I hope it is. Celtics in 6.

Feel free to share your lousy, good for nothing predictions in the NBA Eastern Conference Playoffs Poll below.