NBA Trade Deadline Deal Analysis for Dummies
Some folks were smartly glued to their computers yesterday closely following all the wheeling and dealing as the NBA's trade deadline approached, while others foolishly frittered away their time paying bills or watching Frasier reruns on Lifetime. For those of you in the latter category, here's a handy guide to all of the mega-blockbusters that went down as well as a brief analysis of each deal. You're welcome.
The Orlando Magic trade J.J. Redick, Gustavo Ayon, and Ish Smith to the Milwaukee Bucks for Tobias Harris, Beno Udrih, and Doron Lamb. Analysis: A lot of experts will have you believe that this trade was all about the Bucks acquiring another shooter in Redick, but what this deal really boiled down to was "you trade us your guys with funny names for our guys with funny names."
The Charlotte Bobcats trade Hakim Warrick to the Orlando Magic for Josh McRoberts. Analysis: No-brainer follow-up deal for Orlando as Warrick's game and name beautifully complements those of newly acquired superstars Udrih and Lamb.
The Washington Wizards trade Jordan Crawford to the Boston Celtics for Leandro Barbosa and Jason Collins. Analysis: Word out of Washington is that Crawford was booted out of town for making eyes at First Lady Michelle Obama. In Leandro Barbosa Washington gets an honest-to-goodness amateur wizard with an array of entertaining illusions and clever card tricks.
The New York Knicks trade Ronnie Brewer to the Oklahoma City Thunder for a second-round draft pick. Analysis: Knicks GM Glen Grunwald says he plans on taking someone French with that second round pick. Said Grunwald, "French guys can ball and this team needs a little more savoir faire."
The Oklahoma City Thunder trade Eric Maynor to the Portland Trail Blazers for the draft rights to Georgios Printezis. Analysis: Printezis makes one hell of a gyro, and if there's one thing Kevin Durant likes it's a good gyro.
The Miami Heat trade Dexter Pittman to the Memphis Grizzlies for the rights to Ricky Sanchez. Analysis: This may not seem like a good deal for Miami but they are actually getting the rights to anyone named Ricky Sanchez, which is a lot of people.
The Atlanta Hawks trade Anthony Morrow to the Dallas Mavericks for Dahntay Jones. Analysis: Why anyone would trade Dahntay Jones is beyond us? Mark Cuban has truly lost his mind.
The Phoenix Suns trade Sebastian Telfair to the Toronto Raptors for Hamed Haddadi. Analysis: The Raptors also threw in 8 cases of "Who's Your Haddadi?" t-shirts that were to be part of an upcoming fan giveaway.
The Golden State Warriors trade Jeremy Tyler to the Atlanta Hawks for a second round pick and trade Charles Jenkins to the Philadelphia 76ers for a second round pick. Analysis: Great trades for the Warriors as Tyler and Jenkins were plotting to kidnap the owner's kid.
The Sacramento Kings trade Thomas Robinson, Francisco Garcia, and Tyler Honeycutt to the Houston Rockets for Patrick Patterson, Cole Aldrich, Toney Douglas and cash considerations. Analysis: Apparently, the so-called cash considerations in this deal are lottery scratchers.
The Houston Rockets trade Marcus Morris to the Phoenix Suns for a 2013 second round draft pick. Analysis: Maybe the most important trade in the history of the game... especially if that second round draft pick turns out to be a combination of Wilt Chamberlain, Julius Erving, and Michael Jordan.