NFL F-U Power Rankings: Week 11

11/14/13 in NFL   |   marcus_nyce   |   26063 respect

RichieAll persons, places and things middle finger related in the form of an indiscriminate list without any set number of entries, on a weekly, biweekly or monthly basis. Who knows? Middle fingers are completely organic and unpredictable.
 
Current F-UCS Standings through 10 weeks via the F-U’s Director of Stats and Information, Eric_:
Thanks to the Dolphins, Goodell doesn't score for the first time since Week 1, although his league enters the standings in a tie for 16th. The Dolphins are tied for 5th. Incognito tied for 10th. The top four remain the only four above the morass, and look like this:

1. Roger Goodell - 59
2. God - 14
3. Greg Schiano - 13
4. Dan Snyder - 11
Oh, almost forgot, I entered tied for 29th. Sounds like my class rank in the 100-yard dash in elementary school.
 
 
Thanks, Eric. Now here’s your week 11 moment of Zen…
 
#1 Richie Incognito: The honorary black guy sat down with FOX’s Jay Glazer to clear the air by giving context to his insanely racist and violent voice mail, by saying that’s just the way he and his boys mess with each other. Scumbag Richie then went on to produce a text message from Jonathan Martin that threatened to kill Incognito’s entire family. The problem is that IT WAS A MEME OF SOME DERPY DOG FROM 9GAG.COM!!! 9Gag!?! [face-effing-palm] Richie’s smoking gun was something your mom might post to Facebook, ffs!
 
Note: In an effort to be fair and balanced, if I got a group text of a sh!tty meme from that site, I’d probably leave an even MORE racist and violent voicemail to the sender. So, there’s that.
 
#2 DeMaurice Smith: The President of the NFLPA had his own sit down on Monday Night Football to weigh in on the meme war in Miami by proposing to “ban anything with hateful or hurtful language.” Seriously D-Mo? But you’re still going to circle the Player Association’s wagons when it comes to HGH testing, bounty systems and fines for headshots? *Cris Carter voice* “[Riley Cooper slur] please. C’MON MAN!” Then everybody on Monday Night Countdown fake laughs.
 
#3 Damon Bruce: The San Francisco radio host had a bizarre on air rant, which got him suspended, basically blaming women’s access to locker rooms and their overly sensitive approach to its machismo culture for all the media histrionics surrounding the Dolphin’s F-Ugate. Some guys act like a-holes and we’ve all been “wussified” and overreact to it because… WOMEN! Seems legit. So in his case we should blame his mom, wife, sisters and female co-workers, etc. for his excessively emotional, misguided and attention seeking little speech. (Hashtag: Free Damon Bruce)
 
#4 Outside The Lines: The mother ship’s program had a report outlining the decline in Pop Warner football over the last few years. Uh oh, the sky is falling and it’s going to concuss our kids! Apparently this 9.6% decline, from 2010 to 2012, is a direct result of the growing awareness over the link between football and possible brain injuries, right? What they failed to point out was that, per the NFHS (National Federation of State High School Associations), there has been continued growth in HS football participation over the past 20 plus years. This is also supported by the NSGA’s (National Sporting Goods Association) ten-year study showing a 5% increase in ‘contact’ football from 2001 to 2011 for boys 7 to 17. So how is this possible? Isn’t Pop Warner the feeder system for the high school programs, which account for over a third of all contact football participants in minors?
 
[cue the Cam Newton kid, “I’m just warming up my arm.”]
 
#5 The NFL: Specifically, its Play 60 and nation wide flag football campaigns have taken a huge chunk of those aged 7 to14 out of the Pop Warner and middle school systems and converted them to the “safer” flag version of the sport. Since 1996, this program has also increased the female participation in football exponentially. That’s important and that’s why there has been an overt attempt to market the game directly at the coveted 18-34 female demographic. Why have a breast cancer awareness month and not a colon cancer campaign? Aren’t men an even bigger percentage of the league’s audience? As Colin Cowherd has often pointed out, if mommies are emotionally attached to the game, they’ll be more likely to accept the risks associated with their sons’ participation. Dads are already pretty open to the idea, but now since mommy may have played as a little kid and might follow the league with any kind of interest, the NFL will continue to have all the chattel it needs for future economic growth.
 
[Insert the Key & Peele, “C’Hattel McHattelberry, McNeese State” bump gag here.]
 
Remember, there is no “I” in F-U, but there is an EFF and a YOU.
 
“Till that day.”
 
-5000-
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11/15/13   |   marcus_nyce   |   26063 respect

Eric_ wrote:
Three quick things:

1.) Pretty sure the NFLPA can "circle the wagons" on multiple things at once.
2.) Most boy in Pop Warner from 2010-2012 wouldn't even be in high school yet, would they?
3.) I've given you 6th place and the last point for referencing Cowherd.

As for the standings, we have a new 2nd place, and suddenly there might be a crack in Goodell's dominance. He's still the overwhelming favorite to win, but Mr. Honorary Black is making a run. There are roughly 10 weeks (6 reg. season weeks plus playoffs) to go. The current top 5:

1. Roger Goodell 59
2. Richie Incognito 16
3. God 14
4. Greg Schiano 13
5. Dan Snyder 11

1. True, but omitting that fact makes it a bit funnier.

2. This was originally going to be a piece completely devoted to the Pop Warner thing in the form of an article instead of a listicle because OTL omitted some HUGE things. Firts and foremost EVERY major team sport is down (30-40%) at the early levels because kids are being "specialized" from the get go. The economy also played a roll in funding equipment, certification etc. Everything changed around 2008-2009. A lot of sponsorship dried up (the bad economy)  just as the mandate for updated equipment, coaching, "heads up program", etc. was being implemented. While researching the piece it became a chicken or the egg thing. Was participation down due to lack of funding or was lack of funding down due to lower participation? The head injury stuff wasn't a big deal until 2012-ish. OTL made it sound like THE "cause" instead of AN "effect" of other all factors.

3. The Cowherd ref. was from a guest whom I couldn't remember. So yeah I deserve that. lol

11/15/13   |   kobe_lova   |   59539 respect

heart
*Cue black face Mac*

That pic..I can't even deal with.

11/14/13   |   JenX63   |   31598 respect

For a minute that looked like Billy in the pic. 
geesh all them big white guys are starting to look alike to me
 

11/14/13   |   Eric_   |   7716 respect

Three quick things:

1.) Pretty sure the NFLPA can "circle the wagons" on multiple things at once.
2.) Most boy in Pop Warner from 2010-2012 wouldn't even be in high school yet, would they?
3.) I've given you 6th place and the last point for referencing Cowherd.

As for the standings, we have a new 2nd place, and suddenly there might be a crack in Goodell's dominance. He's still the overwhelming favorite to win, but Mr. Honorary Black is making a run. There are roughly 10 weeks (6 reg. season weeks plus playoffs) to go. The current top 5:

1. Roger Goodell 59
2. Richie Incognito 16
3. God 14
4. Greg Schiano 13
5. Dan Snyder 11

11/14/13   |   Jess   |   32912 respect

The_Real_Stoney wrote:
was Deadspin the only outlet to point out what a joke it was having renowned starf**ker Jay Glazer do the interview?
(Edited by Jess)

I was wondering about that. I saw he was doing the interview and immediately thought it was rather ironic. A dude interviewing someone about this bullying issue who called for having a player being punched in the nuggets. Nice.

11/14/13   |   The_Real_Stoney   |   24069 respect

was Deadspin the only outlet to point out what a joke it was having renowned starf**ker Jay Glazer do the interview?