NFL F-U Power Rankings: Week 13
#1 Dan Snyder: Danny Boy pulled the old “Hey I’m not racist, I have Native American friends,” when Washington honored Navajo Code Talkers before the Monday night game against San Francisco. Yeesh. Somebody should throw him or herself in front of his idea to honor Black History Month with a Minstrel Show themed cheerleader calendar before it goes to print.
#2 The Fritz Pollard Alliance: The organization which monitors the NFL’s Rooney Rule is lobbying the league to make the N-Word a 15 yard penalty during games. So to recap, the league won’t get involved with a team named after a racial slur but they should maybe look at making another racial slur a personal foul? I can’t even…
#3 The West: Through 12 weeks, the AFC and NFC West teams currently hold an almost 2 to 1 win margin over the rest of the divisions. I know it’s just cyclical, but this “cycle” seems to be lining up with the NBA & NHL’s dominant Western conference ones. The only major pro sport with a head to head Eastern advantage is MLB. So apparently, baseball isn’t in the click. It’s the league the other leagues diss behind its back, but are all cheek kisses and hugs when they bump into them at the mall. I bet Goodell, Stern & Bettman have a pretty hysterical ‘Burn Book’ full of Selig digs.
#4 The Saints: On the subjects of catty slights, New Orleans didn’t provide a player for the post game circle jerk / gift bag / giggle fest on the NFL Network after their win in Atlanta last week. Roger Goodell is still their Regina George. “He’s a life ruiner, he ruins lives!” So take that, NFL.
#5 Josh Sitton: The Green Bay lineman ripped the Lions for being dirty saying, "It starts with their frickin' coach. It starts with the head coach, Schwartz. He's a d---, too. I wouldn't want to play for him. It starts with him, and their D-coordinator and their D-line coach. They're all just scumbags, and so are the D-line." Oh no he di’int?!
#6 The Seahawks: Puff-puff, pass. Whoaaaaa. Duuuuude. A pass is totally a football thing too. Freaky man, freaky …hey is Sonic still open?
#7 Jerry Jones: He thinks he’s doing a swell job as an owner “slash” GM, because eff you that’s why.
#8 Marcus Nyce: For turning this week into a played out, Buzzfeed-esque “Mean Girls” listicle. The only thing missing was a bunch of gifs. (And for referring to himself in the third person.)
Happy Thanksgiving everyone and remember, there is no “I” in F-U, but there is an EFF and a YOU.
…’till that day.